Tuesday 2 June, 2009

And u thought u were weak

Some things in life just refuse to change
Or maybe we dont try hard enough to change
Maybe we dont want to let go and initiate a change

A change is hard
and sometime one challenges its validity 
and the nuisance that could be avoided

You then start doubting your own intents
the authenticity of the need for change
you feel trouble
but u dont address it for these reason
and soon u just crib and do nothing
and eventually you dont even crib, u just accept

But is it a cause lost
were u weak
were u suppossed to have fought the grim battle
should u have stood up to the challenge

Strength is not in always creating a big fight 
and creating a cause for the sake of undertaking a challenge
Strength is also in analysing the right cause
and trying to cope up with it
Not because u are timid
but because u are mature enough to evaluate and have the strength to do so

You should never give up
never give up on yourself
just figure things out
your way

Saturday 27 December, 2008

Don't drive through life by looking in the rear view mirror

Said a friend today. And it got me thinking. Often I have been in that trap, trivializing my current potential by past experiences.
A resolution for 2009.

Friday 19 December, 2008

Snowing hard

It's snowing, must be about 8" outside. It is beautiful.
The white soft snow covering tapered rooftops, the snowflakes that shimmer in the light of the lamp post, the light outside the house reflecting in the night, the sheer serenity, the realization of the power and miracles of nature, the transformation post the fall sheer of red, orange and yellow.
I don't have snow boots yet :) Will buy a cheap fake and run trench through the soft white piles or sled tomorrow.
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Brown paper packages, tied up with string
These are a few of my favourite things

Sunday 7 December, 2008

Ego and the divide

I have come across significant ego conflicts in my dealings with people.
The conflicts outside the family impact little. Someone trying to park his car in the same spot that I was vying for and an argument that ensues where none want to back out, is a minor conflict of ego. Doesn't harm, except a bout of anger and translates to a day's gossip with well wishers.
Conflicts with a boss cost dearly. It could cost you the next promotion, cost u an entitled coveted tittle of some sorts or a well deserved praise. You might be right and yet the forces work against you to proved you wrong. You are duped. But the good news is you have a choice. A choice of a change. Harms grossly, triggers unwanted stress and translates to superficial changes (a change of job,profile, location) for a while.
Conflict with family. That one is interesting. An extended relative and what he thinks matters little to none, yet it can have it's own majorly stressful consequences when allowed to translate incorrectly to represent your position. Harms momentarily a social image, causes stress and translates to a family feud of some sorts.
Conflict with parents or siblings is phenomenally heart breaking. Its a conflict of belief systems, anger of being misunderstood by your own and results in a temporary rebellion to do your own thing in life. Yet a family is one concept you come around with eventually. At the end of the day, you would need them more than anyone else and they would be there to support your cause irrespective. Yet the rebellions cause immense drain of energy and sometimes decisions that cost u a lifetime.
Conflict with a loved one, your other half. If you are in a relationship, depending on whether he/she is a friend or a fiancee, depending on how serious you are about your feelings and relationships, these things take forever to heal. Maybe if u have a face to face battle to clear things out openly, there are chances you will heal eventually. If you haven't done that, you are doomed for quite a while, undergoing cyclical up and downs ; love and hate; want and confused times. If you are married and separated, things take forever. Its the hardest form of conflict and separation.
Conflict with your kids. Multiple types of conflicts start from the time they are born till the time they grow up through school , university, girlfriends, family and mid age. Probably after that they align with you in the cycle of interpreting and reacting to conflicts.
So yes conflicts exist for everyone. All types, ages, sex, colour, intensity.
What is the best way to deal with conflict ? Irrespective , my two cents:
  1. Be interested in resolving the conflict in your best interest and with your best intentions. For which you obviously have to interpret your interest and pay attention to your need to resolve it.
  2. Intentions are conveyed very easily with small Lil actions and given away as easily too. Other people read and interpret intentions through what u do and don't say. Hence if you have decided on your intention, its gonna get communicated either way, no matter what.
  3. If you care for the other party involved, never let ego ruin and grow the divide. You would be hit just as bad if it happens. Remember you are involved and you care, your ego is your own enemy.
  4. Learn to manipulate and interpret your ego. Its a friend when u deal with your enemy and need to be guarded. Its an enemy when u deal with your own. It harms your cause more than it helps it.
  5. Be honest to yourself about what u want from the situation. So analyse honestly. And act accordingly. Most times honest ways are hard ways. It does not mean sacrifice and suffer. That is stupid. There is no such thing as sacrifice. Sacrifice is a way to excuse yourself on the pretext of morality. It yet says ' you are confused ' or 'you didn't truly want it'
  6. Human mind manipulates and is capable of self defense in any form. Control the righteousness of the response, be human, be brave, be honest, be righteous but be righteously selfish. Don't harm and fool anyone. Don't fool yourself.

Sunday 23 November, 2008

Conversation died when laptops were invented

A lil' world of your own at your fingertips. It can't get better.
And it can't get worse. Two people in the same room, in their own world.
What did people do when there were no laptops and the sharp crisp keypad strikes did not resonate to make ourselves feel good about our intelligence and capabilities.
Maybe they shared a newspaper moment, maybe tea, maybe gossip, maybe TV but they shared a moment. This laptop domain is an isolated bubble of the while screen ahead and the black keyboard that pronounces miracles.

Saturday 22 November, 2008

Nov 14 2008

Would like to keep the date etched in memory. Nobody except me will ever feel or relate to the date probablly as much. But it was a monumental day in my life.
For everything I stood for. For everything I had wanted for myself. I gave it my most genuine effort.
I did realize though, my need is stronger than reality for many. I had put too much on it and in it. Bet nobody else had... not that day, not in the last three years.

Happy Birthday Brigs

Lil A came home very excited. It is his friend Brigs birthday next week and he is invited. I asked him what is he going to get her as her gift. "Mom , Brigs dosen't like Diego. She likes a princess."
It was so cute coming from a three year old.
Brigs is his best friend. They both always play together. So cute.