Go Scribe

And u thought u were weak

2009-06-02T21:49:00.002-04:00

Some things in life just refuse to change

Or maybe we dont try hard enough to change

Maybe we dont want to let go and initiate a change

A change is hard

and sometime one challenges its validity

and the nuisance that could be avoided

You then start doubting your own intents

the authenticity of the need for change

you feel trouble

but u dont address it for these reason

and soon u just crib and do nothing

and eventually you dont even crib, u just accept

But is it a cause lost

were u weak

were u suppossed to have fought the grim battle

should u have stood up to the challenge

Strength is not in always creating a big fight

and creating a cause for the sake of undertaking a challenge

Strength is also in analysing the right cause

and trying to cope up with it

Not because u are timid

but because u are mature enough to evaluate and have the strength to do so

You should never give up

never give up on yourself

just figure things out

your way

Don't drive through life by looking in the rear view mirror

2008-12-27T23:23:00.001-05:00

Said a friend today. And it got me thinking. Often I have been in that trap, trivializing my current potential by past experiences.

A resolution for 2009.

Snowing hard

2008-12-19T18:14:00.003-05:00

It's snowing, must be about 8" outside. It is beautiful.

The white soft snow covering tapered rooftops, the snowflakes that shimmer in the light of the lamp post, the light outside the house reflecting in the night, the sheer serenity, the realization of the power and miracles of nature, the transformation post the fall sheer of red, orange and yellow.

I don't have snow boots yet :) Will buy a cheap fake and run trench through the soft white piles or sled tomorrow.

Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes

Brown paper packages, tied up with string

These are a few of my favourite things

Ego and the divide

2008-12-07T11:33:00.004-05:00

I have come across significant ego conflicts in my dealings with people.

The conflicts outside the family impact little. Someone trying to park his car in the same spot that I was vying for and an argument that ensues where none want to back out, is a minor conflict of ego. Doesn't harm, except a bout of anger and translates to a day's gossip with well wishers.

Conflicts with a boss cost dearly. It could cost you the next promotion, cost u an entitled coveted tittle of some sorts or a well deserved praise. You might be right and yet the forces work against you to proved you wrong. You are duped. But the good news is you have a choice. A choice of a change. Harms grossly, triggers unwanted stress and translates to superficial changes (a change of job,profile, location) for a while.

Conflict with family. That one is interesting. An extended relative and what he thinks matters little to none, yet it can have it's own majorly stressful consequences when allowed to translate incorrectly to represent your position. Harms momentarily a social image, causes stress and translates to a family feud of some sorts.

Conflict with parents or siblings is phenomenally heart breaking. Its a conflict of belief systems, anger of being misunderstood by your own and results in a temporary rebellion to do your own thing in life. Yet a family is one concept you come around with eventually. At the end of the day, you would need them more than anyone else and they would be there to support your cause irrespective. Yet the rebellions cause immense drain of energy and sometimes decisions that cost u a lifetime.

Conflict with a loved one, your other half. If you are in a relationship, depending on whether he/she is a friend or a fiancee, depending on how serious you are about your feelings and relationships, these things take forever to heal. Maybe if u have a face to face battle to clear things out openly, there are chances you will heal eventually. If you haven't done that, you are doomed for quite a while, undergoing cyclical up and downs ; love and hate; want and confused times. If you are married and separated, things take forever. Its the hardest form of conflict and separation.

Conflict with your kids. Multiple types of conflicts start from the time they are born till the time they grow up through school , university, girlfriends, family and mid age. Probably after that they align with you in the cycle of interpreting and reacting to conflicts.

So yes conflicts exist for everyone. All types, ages, sex, colour, intensity.

What is the best way to deal with conflict ? Irrespective , my two cents:

Be interested in resolving the conflict in your best interest and with your best intentions. For which you obviously have to interpret your interest and pay attention to your need to resolve it.
Intentions are conveyed very easily with small Lil actions and given away as easily too. Other people read and interpret intentions through what u do and don't say. Hence if you have decided on your intention, its gonna get communicated either way, no matter what.
If you care for the other party involved, never let ego ruin and grow the divide. You would be hit just as bad if it happens. Remember you are involved and you care, your ego is your own enemy.
Learn to manipulate and interpret your ego. Its a friend when u deal with your enemy and need to be guarded. Its an enemy when u deal with your own. It harms your cause more than it helps it.
Be honest to yourself about what u want from the situation. So analyse honestly. And act accordingly. Most times honest ways are hard ways. It does not mean sacrifice and suffer. That is stupid. There is no such thing as sacrifice. Sacrifice is a way to excuse yourself on the pretext of morality. It yet says ' you are confused ' or 'you didn't truly want it'
Human mind manipulates and is capable of self defense in any form. Control the righteousness of the response, be human, be brave, be honest, be righteous but be righteously selfish. Don't harm and fool anyone. Don't fool yourself.

Conversation died when laptops were invented

2008-11-23T00:51:00.002-05:00

A lil' world of your own at your fingertips. It can't get better.

And it can't get worse. Two people in the same room, in their own world.

What did people do when there were no laptops and the sharp crisp keypad strikes did not resonate to make ourselves feel good about our intelligence and capabilities.

Maybe they shared a newspaper moment, maybe tea, maybe gossip, maybe TV but they shared a moment. This laptop domain is an isolated bubble of the while screen ahead and the black keyboard that pronounces miracles.

Nov 14 2008

2008-11-22T22:52:00.003-05:00

Would like to keep the date etched in memory. Nobody except me will ever feel or relate to the date probablly as much. But it was a monumental day in my life.

For everything I stood for. For everything I had wanted for myself. I gave it my most genuine effort.

I did realize though, my need is stronger than reality for many. I had put too much on it and in it. Bet nobody else had... not that day, not in the last three years.

Happy Birthday Brigs

2008-11-22T22:40:00.002-05:00

Lil A came home very excited. It is his friend Brigs birthday next week and he is invited. I asked him what is he going to get her as her gift. "Mom , Brigs dosen't like Diego. She likes a princess."

It was so cute coming from a three year old.

Brigs is his best friend. They both always play together. So cute.

Taking a chance in life

2008-08-30T12:54:00.002-04:00

Am not sure if I can handle it but I might still go ahead and take this chance, just to be true to myself. IT will be painful but then I need to stand up for myself.

Love to me

One step at a time...

2008-08-19T11:23:00.004-04:00

SO much is happening. All for the good. Yet all very difficult to manage. I guess this is my only way to vent it out, write on my blog. Sorry folks if it reads confused, I am confused too.

I have so many questions for me to think through.... i think through them, but i cannot control any... so is there a point in thinking through at all. Yet i think :

Sometimes the way to love or loved ones is hard, so do people give up ?
Do distractions like a new place to live, a most adventurous lifestyle, a more interesting job, distract most people and therefore love and all that goes with it becomes less important if the path is troubled? Is that why distance kills relationships?
Are people so pro change that changes (even material or transient) , supersede all other emotions ?
Are human emotions shallow and just good-for-the-time being?
Is being dependent on someone you love really that bad?
Should you ever be dependent on people u love ? Not because the expectation you have is wrong, but people are shallow, selfish and run away from difficulties the moment they get a chance ?
Am i becoming more negative everyday or am i just getting desperate?
Do i need a healing touch or do i just want to be by myself?
Does being independent prove a point ? Making my own money, paying my own rent, dealing with my schedule and trying to liberate myself from any dependency prove that i am more superior or stronger ? Isn't resilience and ability to manage in your current situation harder ?
I am struggling, Despite all my blessings , i am struggling. Is it with myself, complex human behavior or pure expectations .

I am yet going to be thinking. Maybe this blog will just turn introspective till i have my answers and my confidence back.

Love

World tour ideas

2008-07-21T15:10:00.000-04:00

I would like to reference this... I liked what i read

http://www.world-tour-orion7.com/

Snorkelling in the Seychelles

2008-07-21T14:56:00.003-04:00

I can't imagine.... the experience can be nothing but close to a complete oneness with nature.

http://www.travelworldmagazine.com/contributors/detail.php?ArticleID=1158

I have snorkeled in Lankawi way back. It was ethereal. To be out in the Ocean, a few meters out shore feels like really deep into the sea. The sea weeds, the dark deep waters, then suddenly a burst of life and fishes, sometimes sharks. It was my first time and i realized it is something i wanna do more often.

The Great Barrier Reef seems daunting and overwhelming. Out in the big wide ocean, unassumingly vast, kinda scares me. The Carribean looks more compact and possible.

Friends and Folk alike

2008-07-11T16:23:00.001-04:00

A couple of my friends have told me that my blog is not reading my normal self. They hope my struggles will end and I will be my chirpy self again. Thanks for all the concern :)

Very nice of u

The new buzz on the Iphone

2008-07-09T13:11:00.001-04:00

This is it... a comprehensive on the new 3G. I wouldn't change my original iphone for anything. The plastic on the 3G is a put-off. But the reviews... http://ptech.allthingsd.com/20080708/newer-faster-cheaper-iphone-3g/

And finally...

2008-07-07T11:56:00.002-04:00

I have decided for sure...I am not bowing under for anyone anymore. If they need me for something, they need to show it. I am done being crushed under. It's causing me health issues, emotional unstability and now lack of confidence.

I don't wish to feel weak for sure.

Love needs to liberate, not stiffle.

I don't know how to salvage myself this time... hope i will survive

2008-07-04T19:55:00.005-04:00

Spent the whole night flitting between music and net surfing. Just restless i guess. Fidgety for stability of a different kind. Hurt for a reason. Hoping against hope. Still ???? weird !

What would u do with your life if you had another day to live

2008-07-04T01:58:00.002-04:00

Spend it with my love and my kids
Get my hair and nails done . LOL
Buy a pair of 1.5 carat solitaires for my ears
Eat the gooiest chocolate cake on earth
Go to the beach and sit with my sweetheart till the sun went down the horizon
Cook my family a nice meal and hope to hear from them that they loved it
Listen to A's gazals
Hope God would bless me again as Deepti and give me Arnav in the next life too

maybe it's just me

2008-07-04T00:04:00.003-04:00

Emptiness has a dimension.
Pain has a meanging
Hope is the vision
Fear is insecurity
Broken is a heart
does it matter, I guess not.

Life dosent stop
everything goes on, for everyone
Maybe 20 years will go by
Maybe everything will still go on
will I change, maybe not
maybe that is bad
Maybe that is just me

is me so bad
is me so weak
is me not capable
why am i doing this to myself

I should know i guess
but maybe i am just weak

Love like u have never been hurt

2008-07-02T01:47:00.003-04:00

It's such a beautiful thing to write. Even if someone makes it difficult, just do your bit.

Love is the greatest bliss in life. The sharpest pain. But there is no life without it.

Work n Life balance

2008-06-29T17:49:00.002-04:00

Guess i need some training there.

Miss my baby so much. Am at work in Mexico. Wonder why for now....

Lil A has strep throat and is staying in toronto with my aunt. I could have surely avoided the travel. Just thought it work out by dropping him 'nani house' and maybe it is working out. But just that I dont feel up to it.

Work is work at the end of the day.

When tears flow non stop, u know its someone near

2008-06-28T19:57:00.007-04:00

So many thoughts are crossing my mind.... but in a nutshell I just realized two things :

People who are closet to us, are often the ones who hurt us the most
Try as much as they like, people we don't care about, cannot hurt us. They could bother us or irritate us, but not hurt us

Ironical. Hurt is self inflicted therefore.

Today is it.... I mean.... I am so hurt that I actually feel a sharp deep pain. And I realized it come from someone I truly love.

So many thoughts are crossing my mind....yet again two things:

You can never hurt back the people you love, no matter how much they hurt you
Yet they continue to hurt you, because they might not love you. General concern is not love.

Ironical. You love irrespective, someone you want too. And yet someone could do all they could to please you, and you dont see it, because its someone you dont want.

So many thoughts cross my mind.

Often wondered

2008-06-22T21:11:00.004-04:00

And then i read it :

"Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value... it's human nature."

Love requires us to be available for someone, unconditionally , open and all there. And yet, when one is, one is just taken so for granted that after a point maybe he/she doesn't really excite or evoke a strong passion.

Wierd like so much that is logic, is eventually wierd.

I would hate to do this to someone. Yet I have experienced it twice and done it once myself. Shucks how very wierd. This cannot be the rule. It has to change. JUST a belief... that anything that is wrong cannot sustain. No incorrect behavior or emotion is justified and can be sustained.

I normally don't let such statements that read a general conduct, change my belief.

I would rather say :

"Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice... we eventually get so used to them that we intrinsically need them... it's human nature. They are invaluable ."

An evening walk and a realization

2008-06-21T19:46:00.004-04:00

Its amazing how little time we have for ourselves in a 24 hr day. Sometimes as little as 5 minutes.

And i increasingly have started realizing the importance and merit of inculcating some self time.

Between getting up, getting my kid up to daycare, work, an evening of pick ups and getting dinner served, I realized that i really have no time to think or sit back for 5 minutes and really relish the joys of working so hard and creating a life for myself.

I went for a half hour walk today out with lil 'A. He loved it as much as i did. And we saw the grass, smelled the flowers, the pines after the fresh rain, petted a Yorkie named Java and saw some kids play on the slides. As i saw lil' A playing on the swings, I realized how much of good having siblings would do him. The security of a playmate , a confidant, another sibling !!!! Yes , a thought that i put away all the time. I realized sitting there and saw in my minds eye, three kids for myself. It was a very pleasant thought.

Life has run too fast till now. Kinda of really fast.... but i really want to take some time out and start to relish everything. Everything that i am so equipped and inclined to admire and breath in.

Top Wedding Songs For The First Dance

2008-06-18T13:05:00.001-04:00

Coutesy: Yahoo News

Here is the list

Unforgettable (Nat King Cole)
Can't Help Falling In Love (Elvis Presley)
Can I Have This Dance? (Ann Murray)
The Way You Look Tonight (Frank Sinatra)
It Had To Be You (Harry Connick, Jr.)
What A Wonderful World (Louis Armstrong)
Endless Love (Diana Ross and Lionel Richie)
I Cross My Heart (George Strait)
I Swear (John M. Montgomery or All 4 One)
A Whole New World (Peabo Bryson & Regina Belle)
As Time Goes By (A Kiss Is Just A Kiss) (Michael Feinstein)
When You Say Nothing At All (Allison Krauss)
Faithfully (Journey)
No Ordinary Love (Sade)
Here And Now (Luther Vandross)
I Can Love you Like That (John M. Montgomery)
Power Of Love (Celine Dion)
Tonight I Celebrate My Love (Roberta Flack & Peabo Bryson)
Everything I Do {I Do For You} (Bryan Adams)
When A Man Loves A Woman (Percy Sledge or Michael Bolton)
All My Life (Linda Ronstadt & Aaron Neville)
I'll Be There (Mariah Carey)
On Bended Knee (Boyz II Men)
At Last (Etta James)
Don't Know Much (Linda Ronstadt & Aaron Neville)
From This Moment On (Shania Twain)
Our Love Is Here To Stay (Harry Connick, Jr.)
Unchained Melody (The Righteous Brothers)

Friday evenings

2008-06-13T15:56:00.001-04:00

I have finally realized that the way you treat and look forward to your Friday evenings is a peep into your life.

A good feeling yet mixed

2008-06-09T22:40:00.001-04:00

Have u ever got this feeling that things are going great in life. Thank God. But I haven't really planned long term. And then the fear of not having planned.

Sitting in Sweetwaters cafe

2008-06-06T22:56:00.003-04:00

I like the name. Sweetwaters. It's a chic looking brick walled warmly lit coffee shop in Ann Arbor. As sweet as the name of the town, as slick i think is the name of the coffee shop. Sitting and wondering about life in between preparing for an exam. Basically reading and dreaming, and therefore not registering anything. My friend has declared me failing the exam. So i might as well spend time updating my blog.

Sitting around and wondering about life's intricacies as they surround me. I look back and i really haven't changed much. Quintessentially I am quite the same girl I was in college. But so much has changed on the forefront.

It is sad to think about heartbreaks, relationships that are long left behind in the matter of context and time but yet so fresh in my memory, the simple things that make life so beautiful, the genuinely happy moments, the friendships that have stood the test of time and grits of realizations, places around the world I have been to in the last 8 years, so many things have changed and yet not changed. Yet not really changed about me. Sad to an extend, good to an extend.

Sitting around, looking at people. Each face, a different story. Each coffee table, a different vibe. So many young kids in this university town and a realization that they are just starting out in life. Some old couples. Some middle aged folks. Interesting to see so many stories, personalities, literally looking a different story. And in the middle of all this, my life and my story. Just sitting and thinking in a coffee shop on a Friday night , with a book, a laptop , a phone, a cup of coffee and hundreds of thoughts that fill me up.

My 100th Post and most insightful

2008-06-04T13:45:00.003-04:00

I logged in to write about a poignant incident and i wanted it logged. Only to realize it was my 100th post to this blog and I guess the most culminating in nature.

I use a hairdresser's services every week. A young 22 year old American lady. I just met with her Last week and was due to meet her this weekend again. I received a call to say “Deepti, we have scheduled your service with Crystal, as Nina unfortunately no longer works with us.”

Why is this so significant ?

Nina had a complete wipe out while driving on the highway about a month back. She has since been under medication and diagnosis. She has been trying to remain peppy ever since but last week when I met her I knew she was worried about her medical results.

Maybe something fatal had happened.

To a hair salon, she was immediately replaceable with Crystal.

Struck me. How many of us, including me, spend hours worrying about work, working our lives around our work. Only to realize how dispensable we are at work. It’s so much about a commodity today. A service, a face, not the person.

I felt utterly sad. Before most of us develop a habit of this patter… a pattern of believing is more gratification more work , being disturbed by the politics around it and getting sucked in the race for it, we need to realize….

I just suddenly want to note the word ‘indispensable’ only for my family.

I am really touched.

Some relationships are so beautiful

2008-06-04T13:11:00.004-04:00

I have truely been blessed in life by having honest, loving and very generous folks around me. Thank God.

Different kicks for different people

2008-06-02T22:04:00.003-04:00

Life is all about different motivations for different people. Everyone takes a different memory and learning from the same incident.

The same day, the same situation... one is thinking about how two lives are tied together , while the other is oblivious and simply obsessed by a corporate pat on the back.

Many theories to the concept... many perspective again....

Difference in men and women
Difference in being involved and being a bench observer
Difference in being cynical and being pragmatic

Either way, every heart beats different . Everyone has a different truth.

A musician's life

2008-06-02T21:27:00.011-04:00

I needed to capture this. So i took the pains for this laptop to boot up, took forever. I waited to sign into the remote login and yet again waited to login. A long 10 minute process to capture a 30 minute experience, but so enriching and invigorating.

I had come back from a long day at work. Another normal day. A decent dinner followed. A hot cup of freshly brewed Starbucks coffee. And yet I am not amused. Bored. Disinterested. Sit down with my book. I am apparently preparing for a CISA certification, which is 10 days away. And today is yet not the second time I have opened the book to prepare :)) That's me... last minute. What kind of a role model will I be...

But anyways ....

So I sit down, cool summer breeze, long summer days, with the sun still nice and bright at 8 pm. I am lounging on my patio when I hear a beautiful symphony. That is my neighbor practicing her violin. She plays at the orchestra, is teaching students and yet has a rigorous daily routine of practicing the violin everyday. I hear her often, a remote tune, a distant story. But today was different. I felt melancholy and was very intrigued.

I just got up from my patio, walked over barefoot into her adjoining patio and just tapped at her window. Her concentration was disturbed for a brief instance. In fact , she was shocked at the sudden interference. She slid the door open, smiled at me, let me in and continued to play. I positioned myself in a huge Lazyboy with my big fat book, a cup of coffee, a wink at her and sat listening.

Beautiful symphony. A half hour of blissful music. Such peaceful moments. As if, a life apart. A different world. It was so beautiful. A profound introspection followed, as she played...of her discipline, her lonely existence, a peaceful demeanor and strong will. As she continued to play, reading the notes, I noticed the intense concentration and passion of an artist. Lots more than what I could write. Of a human spirit, the beauty of music, of independence, of profound need for survival, of a competitive spirit, a different race unlike the corporate rat race, the beauty of a women, the love of an artist, the peace in music.

We got talking for a brief 5 minute and I told her how invigorating the music felt.

She said, "For the audience it is relaxation, but for an artist it is intense concentration."

And then she got talking. She has playing since the age of seven. Nearing 40,she still practices atleast 5 hours a day. Today she had practiced for 8 hours. She is preparing to join an orchestra full time and that would be substantial income. Currently, a mere $ 35K is her annual income. Artists are so grossly underpaid.

She talked. How one position opens up in like 4 years, when a musician might retire. How competitive. For that one position, how 200 candidates appear. And then how a 10 minute backstage performance determines their fate for the next 40 years in some cases. Like a clarinet player is just one player in an orchestra and could hold that position for 40 years. In those 40 years, a new position would not open up. So basically, a generation may become old, a seven year old could become 47 and then a clarinet position may open up. Since the orchestra may not take a player at 47, there could a situation when the artist practiced a lifetime of clarinet but never became a part of an orchestra!!!

It seemed a different life.

No parity. A life of discipline and passion, quite like a sportsman. That is why artists are so different from us. She talks with her music. She thinks i am very smart to be able to construct sentences and converse fluently. She is shut out to a conversation 8 hours a day while she practices. Oops ! that never occured to me.

A different life of a life that lives next to me. Just a wall separates her house from mine but her world is another planet.

I came back cognizant of how each life is a different story, waiting to be told and understood. An interaction with an artist is always about passion.

Of old, Of now, Of new

2008-06-02T17:14:00.002-04:00

Thinking of so many things. Everything over the last thirty years -Of old, Of now and the new.

They seem so disconnected, yet so connected.

So many memories. So many dreams. So many things. It's overwhelming.

Lonliness and its myraid forms

2008-06-01T12:40:00.003-04:00

Sitting in a pub full of a loud crowd, totally aloof
Sitting around your family, totally absolved
Talking to your most cherished acquaintance, hurt and defensive
Sitting in a lonely house, Sunday afternoon
Growing up with big dreams, disastrous decisions
Maturity that never blessed
Two people in a house, just a routine ritual
Siblings that never touch the truth of each other's lives
Grandparents waiting for their grand kids to show up
Mac Donald's every 6 pm
A long drive on winding roads, doesn't matter what the scenery is
A wait, an expectation, dependency that is just your end
Your evening date waiting for u to take the tab and pay for your coffee
A smile that never reaches your eyes
No twinkle and sparkle in a discussion
A swan that lost her partner
The grey winter evenings
Borders and endless cups of coffee
The growing old age homes

Depressing, so depressing.

Love and its myraid forms

2008-05-31T17:36:00.004-04:00

I love the red paint on my bedroom walls and the white cushions that offset the black-brown veneer on the bed
I love a maintained garden full of blooms and a lush green carpet of grass
I love the bright blue sky with a few nimbus floats, blowing in the wind like soft cotton balls
I love a neat house with everything in its place
I love a black RAV 4 with spotless interiors
I love a wooden coffee table with books thrown around
I love white upholstery with a touch of spring
I love diamond set in platinum
I love the new Sony Bravia against a green pastel wall
I love the feeling of independence and the freedom of expression
I love democracy
I love white sand with gentle waves
I love the bright colors of the Caribbean fish
I love the white sails of a yatch in placid blue
I love a white summer dress
I love a flower basket with blooms to decorate a front porch
I love guys with spiky hair (on their head! They could fake it with a gel, doesn't matter)
I love cotton to be crisp
I love gol gappe with tamarind chutney
I love my son and the miracle of being a mom
I love to be in love. It's the one feeling that makes me feel alive.
I love charcoal on paper
I love wooden benches offsetting the city skyline in the background
I love a wood fired pizza
I love shrimp scampi
I love faith in humanity
I love a house that feels like a home
I love the Indian culture. It's what makes me
I love the pride, pain and lust in love
I love endless rolling plains with old oak trees
I love the rain and the smell of wet mud
I love to work passionate
I love to live passionate
I love to hate weakness of character
I love green long raisins with almonds
I love ginger lemon tea
I love desi chai
I love margaritas
I love silk Persian carpets
I love the simple commitment of an engagement ring on a man's hand
I love to take pictures of simple moments and interactions
I love to dream
I love Indian antiques
I love kundan jewellery with precious stones
I love the enthusiasm a child brings to an adults life
I love hot coffee in a warm chic cafe
I love a mac book
I love my iPhone

I love life simple , full of beauty and love

Mathew Kelley

2008-05-31T17:22:00.003-04:00

I heard Mathew Kelley at a conference. A very emphatic speaker with one very simple concept.

To summarize:

We can choose to live our lives in two mode - low energy and high energy. And we have this choice in every moment of our lives.
Only a person who points out your mistakes and helps you grow in life is a true friend. A friend therefore helps you live your life better.
Live your dreams. The passion that is evoked by dreams is a very strong motivation and energizing concept.
Write down 100 dreams u want to live.
We are the books that we read.
Organizations that help their employees reach their dreams , are the organizations that retain their people

Memory Frames

2008-05-30T15:33:00.006-04:00

I am browsing through some most precious memories of my life ... a lifetime in a slideshow of 10 minutes. Sometimes i wonder if this even happened. Thank God for the miracles and thanks to technolgy for letting me capture and re-run the snippets :)

Sometimes it's important to run through and touch base with the past... to relish that past, be grateful for the present, acknowledge past mistakes and Thank God that he yet took care of u and kept u going.

All captured in essence through clicks that made it to the little memory frames....

Diamonds are a girls best friend

2008-05-19T16:20:00.005-04:00

Whoever coined this , was the dumbest of them all.

This is a stereotypical male response to a girl's desire. Desire for love, life, partnership and adequacy.

Dependency

2008-03-22T19:46:00.006-04:00

We are not defined to live without an inane sense of dependency.

Yet every time I establish a dependency, I am disappointed. Were existence and disappointment meant to coexist.

Courage

2008-02-28T14:46:00.001-05:00

Courage dosen't always roar.

Sometimes , it is the little voice at the end of the day that says I will try again tomorrow.

- Mary Anne Radmacher

Let go !

2008-02-26T11:57:00.006-05:00

When you know you don't want to talk. And you just don't want to explain.
When you are confused and sad, and you are letting yourself to be just that.
When you feel insulted, slaughtered and pained.
And you just made yourself available for that again and yet again

When you are replaceable in a moment.
And you were never meant to be
You just feel down and under
You just bleed while all seems glee

Life tries to come and rescue
There is always a rainbow after a storm
There is always the sun to make you feel chirpy
And a new hope that should now be born

Bet you, you will get there
another blow to your original mould
another dent to the sanity you built
another sharp razor cut that just bleeds and is sore

You hope you can make it through it though
You sure have in the past
But how many blows could you possibly take
before you realize you don't want to re cooperate at all

Somethings in life are true
They were meant to touch your heart and soul
You don't really know how to let go
But then how and what , do you behold

There is so much pain and anguish
So much that you just let go
Just let it go, even if it defined your future for you
Just let go

A Promise is a Promise - Ratan Tata

2008-01-10T09:50:00.000-05:00

I am so incredibly proud. Very happy. My heart brimming with excitement.

Ratan Tata and his Nano contribution. What an ironical statement.

The nano by no means is a nano contribution though. It is by far a work of advanced technology, very futuristic design, excellent colour scheme, fundu marketing, hyped expectations and it's India's contribution to the world yet once again from the world of Tata.

Ratan Tata already caused a roar in the low to medium automobile market when he launched his Indica in India and then later in South Africa. And now the superbly crafted, cutest looking, vibrant Nano, with immensely impressive technology, performance and price. A car for $2500. How cool is that.

Gosh i am amazed. Not only amazed, but proud and bubbling with the effervescence the Nano has caused, will cause and the prospects of the car. The environmentalist might crib and the Jamie Leather's of the world might cry hoarse with the urban environment going off balance with millions of more cars thronging the crowded city roads, but the Nano is not about that. It is about the millions of Indians who bear the rough weather or unsafe road conditions on two wheelers, a family of 4 jingling the load on a scooty, because the car market never bothered to look beyond price and leather upholstery to arrive at a social solution to transportation. It is about many in the world, who require a 4 wheeled chassis supported transport, comfortable and cheap.

I congratulate Ratan Tata for his commitment to a social cause. And for marketing it in the most chic garb, that the hip and sassy might want to embrace it equally.

A celebration of being a woman

2008-01-03T09:43:00.001-05:00

“A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water.” --- Eleanor Roosevelt

Read this quote off my new year women’s calendar. Not that I am a feminist of any sort to have bought a new year calendar meant for women, but a realization over time that women are essentially very gifted individuals and womanhood for me is a celebration over a life time. So when I read this quote off the 3rd January page, it struck me as poignant. Every time any person faces an extremity or urgency of any nature - relationship, job, self esteem, we just come out stronger. The weaknesses and fears that we have harbored for long, give way to a stronger us, a more interested us. Ever more so for women.

I am currently reading this book called ‘What happy women know’ by Dan Baker. It was interesting to read that just by genetic make up women are tuned different from men. Things that are deemed important by us may not be the case with the other sex. Probably something that we already know, considering the nature of fights we pick up between the two sexes, but it was interesting to read how genetically the same holds true and the very background of evolution has promoted and supported this response in women.

So for women… being protected, being insecure without a partner, with relationships to bind them are a form of genetic evolution… being unhappy by just material success is natural to them. And when they are subjected to extremity of this nature, they react very strongly. The response seems stronger considering the fact that they never needed to respond at all for any reason similar in life before. Men have always fought the basic battles of survival… with the external world. Women were always meant to nurture and deal with the struggles of her internal small world. Hence this quote really struck at the essence of it.

It’s beautiful how reading livens up our life and writing livens up our soul.

What is wrong with...

2007-12-05T12:34:00.000-05:00

The Gujarat University has banned celebration of days like 'Chocolate Day', 'Rose Day' and 'Tapori Day'.

In a country that is still debating petty stuff of this nature at their state universities.... when will we get down to evolution of thoughts, determination and responsibility of one's actions, thinking liberation, internationalism, development.... Gosh, sucks!

Selfeless acts of love

2007-11-28T22:30:00.000-05:00

Sometimes selfless acts of love, no matter however selfless, seek acknowledgement. A deep hearted true understanding and empathy. Just an understandng. Yet sometimes that is so hard to get.

Talent...abundance...but sometimes it is so hard to materialize

2007-11-28T14:14:00.000-05:00

This is a oil on paper. This aint a painter but a budding fashion designer.

Ever since he was in his teens, he has been loading me with drawings, every weekend. Patterns that he made, new colour schemes, with a different flavour. I was never serious about them except telling him he was good or areas where he needed improvement.

Until today, when i am touched beyond words. With the spirit and passion that a hobby lends. This is my brother, who has immense potential and better still, relentless passion. Who moved to Canada when he was 18years, by himself, from India. Who really really wanted to study fashion designing from Nift, India, decided he could not manage his tuition fee and material expenses (never realised Fashion was so expensive to pursue until he told me), moved to Canada and enrolled himself into more job based study courses. Today he works a 9-5 routine for a random wierd thing we like to call stability, but his hobby is very much alive.

As I sat there clicking the many patterns and designs , I liked, tears brimmed my eyes. I saw his eyes were moist too. Little dreams, abundant talent, sometimes so hard to reach for lack of abundant resources at the right time.... Yet so much of enthusiasm, happy positive do-it attitude, loads of happiness in life , NO regrets, pride in all the little things.

Am very proud of you Rajat. And many never-say-too-tough attitude people, who make happiness in life from everything, who never regret, who pursue for plain happiness and not an end goal.

Love

A life with a job and just all around it

2007-11-28T13:27:00.000-05:00

I am sitting in office and I just cannot stop thinking...

At the end of the day, if i did not have a lure of a position of becoming a Managing Director of some company or a partner in a consulting company, would everyday be as interesting and charged up. If all of us were not in this corporate race, would life be as satisfying.

I was looking out for a job till last month and the criteria was never money. Strange as it may sound, it is true. But then I spend 8 hours of work, 2 hours of travelling and another 2 hours of thinking about work. Of the 16 hrs of awake time, I spend 12 hours at work. With the other 4 hours, I manage my daily life. Wasn't that supposed to be equally or more important! So when work is forming so much a matter of our existence, what would life be bereft of it or any motivation in it.

Its funny. And then u wonder, if I spend so much time working, how do i commend myself at it. Obviously, with the amount of money I make and the position I role play. So how could money not count for me. But it doesn't as of now. I am 32, have spent so much time working for the fun of it, for what i like doing, but imagine 12 hrs per day for 8 years, and not being bothered about money. And when life paces up, age catches on, I would want the same money. When other distractions of dresses, shoes , cosmetics, fade away, and it becomes only about security....

Different stages in life, different needs and different aspirations. Just thinking .....

Sitting at 12 am in front of a blank computer screen

2007-11-17T23:49:00.000-05:00

How does that feel... hundreds of thoughts cross my mind but i just don't feel like blogging them. Sometimes it better to just think.

Peverts!

2007-11-15T09:22:00.001-05:00

Have you come across relatives and friends jealous of you like crazy, stinking jealously, unabashed display of it and a uncomfortable wave it generates. I have a couple of times in life. At different stages in life.

Earlier my response used to be to tone down my display and make the other person comfortable. But that yet left me uncomfortable and upset in my dealings.

Now my response would be to cut that person out of my communication circle. Because precisely that is healthy. Keep away from people who unnerve you , not because you cannot make them comfortable but because they will at every given opportunity make you uncomfortable. Cut away anyone , who in the disguise of a relation, blackmails you, cheats you, threatens your believes, is not happy to see you happy or is plain jealous , most of the times without a cause.

Trivial as it may sound, i remember when me and my sister got enrolled into engineering colleges, how an old time friend of my parents stopped correspondence with us because he had been desperately trying to get his kids into a similar college.

Another time, how a relative 30 years elder to me would refuse to correspond to my mails of a general 'How are you variety', because he had some pre convoluted views he could not deal with and which he never cared to discuss.

What fun is it to feed egos that continue to hurt you. I guess strength of character is in taking the first step to resolve issues, show people matter and do it with a very open heart. Give it multiple attempts. But when it starts to prick you as illogical and pervert, stop. Just cut it out because it is not worth pursuing if it hurts your ego after a while.

Many will try and pull you down in life. Not because you deserve it or have done anything to get the wrath. But sometimes because they haven't been able to deal with something and wish to take it out on you.

Logic it. I say ... ego apart... emotions first, people first. Yet infliction to your sanity, self esteem, should never be tolerated. NEVER.

A convol...uted view

2007-11-12T22:10:00.000-05:00

Everything is about interpretation. The world thrives and sucks interpretation. The poets and philosophers are interpreters of metaphors, the authors interpret an imagination, the lovers interpret dreams, the business tycoons interpret market needs, the knowledge workers interpret skills.... the world is an interpretation ... an interpretation acquired through studied observation, knowledge gained through reading, experiences and interpretation of sensibilities that excite us.

Why is it that sometimes the best is not good enough and sometimes just average is all we desire. Interpretation is thus our own convoluted view of the world, our inner feelings , our moods, our experiences rather than a rule. It is not rule based at all, afterall it is an interpretation.

Something evokes this in me everytime...

2007-10-17T14:31:00.000-04:00

People who are matter of fact, charged, optimist and idealists excite me in life. But sometimes too much of fact of the matter discussion takes away the beauty of subtle sensitivity, of heart rendering warmth and tender emotions. Practicality is a tool to help shape dreams, it cannot become your dream. Nothing can surpass emotions.

Palak Chicken

2007-10-10T22:54:00.000-04:00

This is another one of my recipes... tried it today evening and it really came out nice Punjabi thick gravy, healthy and very tasty.

The recipe is not for novice who need a measure of a tablespoon... because i do not cook like that. However, if you can take directions and yet make sense of how to do it, it should come out great.

Chopped onions done red in oil, add tomatoes and dry the mixture well. Add some tandoori chicken masala while you saute the two. They should look ready and done. Now add washed and cut chicken. Cut into thin strips or small bites for best look and taste. Add 'badi elaichi' powder, black pepper and salt while it cooks. We don't add any water. About 20 minutes, and the chicken would look done and the gravy would thicken to a nice brown. Add fresh coriander.

In another pan, add oil and when heated add the mustard seeds. When they start to sputter, saute garlic, onions, 'kasuri methi'. When done, add thin sliced tomato and finely chopped spinach. Cook well.

Now add the above chicken mixture to the spinach mix. Cook covered for 5 minutes and then let it stand 10 minutes covered once you think you are done.

Absolutely fantastic Palak or kadhai chicken done.

The first ever Dentist visit

2007-10-09T14:22:00.000-04:00

For a kid should be at 1 year of age or anytime thereafter. Trust me I didn't know this and for the benefit of new moms, who happen to search on the net for the information, here is some more to it.

So my son is two and a half.... nearly. And his teeth developed decalcification, white is white spots at the base due to baby bottle tooth decay... caused by moms like me who give their lil' brats bottle in the night because it is the most convinient way to get them to bed.

Never again... poor darling has 2 cavities. Can't believe it. Anyway.... have been thinking of taking him to a dentist for the last one year. Finally, I did today only to realise how well they cleaned his little 9 teeth :)). Polished and floride and all the game and the big boy sat through it as if he has been doing this forever. The dentist would tell him to open his mouth wide like a Lion and there goes the baby cub, big and wide open mouth. At home, he screams, hangs by the neck, holds on the toothbrush so i cannot just move it to brush him....but i realised what a mistake....Kids actually ought to be taken for a cleanup every 6 months... if there is such a facility and the moment they have enough teeth to brush, a dentist visit, i would say at 1 year 9 months is due for sure.

For a minute...

2007-10-05T15:44:00.000-04:00

I was running the Balance sheet for 2007 and by mistake i happened to type in 2047 into the query...

And for a minute... I was blank... what will life be in 2047, where will I be, where will life guide me.

A realisation that i genuinely did not know, could not vividly picture it and it made me stop dead.

A blank and a stare

sometimes when you really don't know

but I guess it's more

when you yourself are not sure or planned

Is it really easy to know

what you want from life

Probablly yes,

just that we don't give it enough time

we rather spend that time running reports in office and thinking about their output

than ours!

Not good...

Honest Confessions

2007-10-04T23:22:00.001-04:00

Sometimes your best is not good enough.... how often have i heard this.

But i don't believe in it.

Life comes at you fast

2007-09-24T14:20:00.000-04:00

When I am with my friends, my age group of buddies or colleagues... it does not hit me with an impact. Life seems to have transitioned slowly, college, marriage, kids... the normal placent course for everyone around. Mid life crisis seems miles away. Growing old is a reality now but nothing to get worked up about.

But every time I meet an elderly or a senior colleague, I cannot but feel I have hit a panic button... that makes me wonder just a couple of years and i will be there. The mad rush of ensuring all smooth ends before you hit the 40s.

I met up with a colleague for lunch today. Married, 2 kids, a manager, running a side business of his own, mentoring freshmen, and he was in a rush to wind up a lot to settle into a comfortable 40. Made me panic. A realisation .... Life comes at you fast.

Finally the Hard bound editions

2007-09-17T13:59:00.003-04:00

As you grow up you figure out your collections for life. CDs, Books, jewellery, coins... each of us has there own little secret treasures. For me its the C & H editions, hard bound and all 4 volumes. And just precisely that is what I bought for myself last weekend.

I had hand me downs for a while... but its fun to buy your own editions. I never seem to get tired of them.

An interesting piece I overheard

2007-09-17T10:12:00.000-04:00

But the gist is what surprised me.

I was at my usual haunt when I realised there were no tables to park my bum. So quite uncomfortable, I sat in the middle table, surrounded by people around me at arm's length literally. Normally I would prefer a corner seat, next to a window or the wall. Sitting in the centre of the hall, is all privacy invaded when your only intention to come in the first place was a place for yourself for a while.

So now I can look at what someone is writing, reading, typing. And in the table right in front of me, are two guys and a girl. The only reason i got listening to them because the girl just wouldn't stop drooling over her recently acquired boyfriend.

S: You know what I have been thinking the whole evening ?

H: I have no idea ( I felt like giving him one punch, such a weirdo!!)

S: I have been thinking how much I like your nose. ( Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeks! She is the one who deserves a punch. A weirdo for a weirdo. I was not in a mood for this mush mush overhearing. I took a closer look at the guy, to give the girl the benefit of... but I swear he was very funny. Makes me wonder why girls cannot be more selective about the guys they drool over. Trust me there are better ones out there).

Anyway, so their conversation continues. I wanted to turn my ears away from them and get back to what i was doing, when she said:

S: You know I am a Jew right. But I am quite unorthodox.

Now the other guy on the table speaks up for the first time: Me too. I am pretty flexible and not so staunch in my ideas as a Jew.

Suddenly, as if the 3 tables around me tuned in, the guy on my right, suddenly looked up from his book and said:

H: I believe in all the concepts that they talk about but I rather not be staunch.

The girl on his right, now looks up and nods and I realise I am the centre, of the cris cross communication and actually surrounded by all these young Jewish men and women, who are trying to cut out their identity as a race that is not inflexible or staunch in ideas. They believe in their religion but leave it to being a matter of religious believes and not interfere in making them different from the society they live in, or staunch in a discerning manner. Made me look up and realise that isn't that how every young generation feels when just left to themselves to interpret religion, society, harmony and progressiveness. No one wants to be caught up in a divide, or segregate themselves or reason orthodoxy anymore.

Hey Baby!

2007-09-15T12:43:00.000-04:00

Yesterday as i was out on my usual night out, I couldn't spot parking. Rush Street, a martini lounge bar, had live music and partying teeny boppers thronged the road sides to make parking more difficult. Finally, I spotted a metered parking empty. Swearved the car in, only to be stopped by a damn hot looking dude.

I : ( rolled down my window) Are you taking this parking lot ?

H: No, I am the valet ?

I was about to swerve my car out, when he and 4 of his other damn hot looking friends, peeped into the car, and

one said: If i give you fifty dollars, will you drive us around ?

I: No

Another guy : Ok hundred dollars

Another: You can lock our hands, we are good guys.

I: Sorry NO.

H: Why!!!!

I: Because I have work here and I am not driving you. Sorrrrrrrrrrrrrry!

And I coolly ignored them, parked my car, walked to my cafe and pretended I wasn't suprised at their audacity.

And then it suddenly struck me. I have grown up, haven't I ! It just struck me, ten years back I would have been scared of being approached like this. Maybe I still would be if it was Delhi. I would really be. Delhi has become so unsafe. Eveteasing is every guys right and the girls, even though they are bolder and more confident than they ever were, can't do much approaching passers nearby, corrupt policemen and raging lecherous guys. So i guess, maybe its just easier to say No and do as you please in the US> a small incident but a big reflection on the society and the prevailing law and order.

Tomatoes from their backyard

2007-09-14T13:57:00.001-04:00

Precisely that... is what I have been tasting since morning, drowning in work. My colleagues from work came by to hand me tit-bit snacks at work.. so the first one has red, ripe oval tomatoes from his backyard, the second brought in red and orange pepper from their backyard and now the third drop in to my seat, " Deepti, would u like to try tomatoes from my backyard?" And there I go, 6 round tiny orange salad tomatoes on my table. " Do they taste nice?", she said.

And I was like, "Really nice, thanks. Very fresh indeed."

Struck me to record this in my blog. So i dropped all work to write this one para in, because I just realised back home in India, how would it have sounded to go around the office taking pride in home grown tomatoes in my backyard!

Surface .... Am I excited

2007-09-10T13:21:00.001-04:00

Microsoft SURFACE>.... I am incrediblly excited. It takes a lot these days to get me excited. :)) wink! Wink!!!

But you have to see this to believe it. It is INCREDIBLE>http://www.microsoft.com/surface/default.aspx

And u must watch the whole thing.. click on the 3 individual tabs they have for demo. You will be rocked out of your seat. I can't wait to own one. If I thought Apple Phone was it, oh this is awsome. I am very excited. When did they say they were launching this ?

So what is catching my fancy today

2007-09-01T15:07:00.000-04:00

The colour yellow, not bright sunshine yellow but honey mustard yellow. It seems to brighten any background, especially when used to offset an adjoining off-white wall, pista green carpet, black framed hangings, rich mahogany or dark brown veneer, or just bright floral big printed cushion covers.

I am actually quite impressed with the versatility of the colour.

In the day, the room looks chirpy with the crisp freshness added by potted green plants in white vases and in the night, the room acquires a warm glow against the backdrop of candles and tea-lights.

A definite recommendation for living rooms and dining rooms.

Another really sophisticated colour, which lends royalty and formal understated elegance is, plastered clay colour, towards the darker side. It offsets very well against off-whites, greens, oranges, reds, dark burgundy browns and is really off beat too. This would be the choice, if a touch of formal elegance needs to be reinstated in co-ordination with bronze or copper traditional ambiance or even chic ultra modern straight line furniture. Instead of adding fresh welcoming sunny yellow feeling, this would be a good option for formal modern sophisticated backdrop. Either colors do very well with traditional block print upholstery too.

This is what I really want to do this minute

2007-08-20T11:43:00.000-04:00

It's raining outside. Nice soft rain. Everything looks clean, lush and so fresh. I love the clarity of mind this weather brings to me.

Reminds me I picked up Ginkgo IQ Yogi Tea from whole foods yesterday. It is supposed to clarify the mind. :) Ya , I fell for it. Simply because it contains amla, haritaki and bibhitaki, ginko, ginger...all desi herbs... so I understand they can't go too wrong with this one. The directions on the carton are hilarious: Drink 1-3 cups for increased mental clarity. For heighted effect, ( hahhahahhahha) drink every 3 hours. LOL............... For a stronger effect, use 2 bags.

So you see, I am on the right path.

But in lieu of this what I could just do, is close my eyes, picture lush tropical vegetation, soft rain, a brick room, off-white curtains, soft yellow light, a Brass murti of Krishna and fragrant agarbathi filling up the room with smell of patchouli, lotus, jasmine. Pure Bliss. And sitting in office right now, watching the rain hit the window panes with steel frames, this is what I really want to do.

Antelope

2007-08-20T00:37:00.000-04:00

C: Hobbes, want to see an Antelope!?
H: C'mon
(Takes him to a rock, with little black ants on it)
C: See, She's coming down the ladder to her boyfriend's car!

LOL. Ant...elope!

The most well dressed couple in the cafe tonight

2007-08-19T23:16:00.000-04:00

Happens to be the oldest as well. Swinging it up in their 80s for sure...!

So the old lady is dressed up in a red mini, red jacket, scarf, red lipstick, make up touched up perfect ( as in caked up completely with eyebrow pencil and stuff, shee how i hate it). She is reading an old bound edition , since the binding is done in dark blue and the alphabets engraved in golden, sorry would not be able to update you with the title, the lights are reflecting at a weird angle. The old man is sitting on another table, next to mine, reading Life of Pie. Ok this one I know. He is dressed like a thorough gentleman, trouser and a jersey. Did I mention it is starting to get chilly here, with the rains.

And here I am, chappals, shorts, ragged top and my fav cotton jacket, with my hair plaited like a school girl. LOL.

Anyway. did i mention the lady also has black stockings and black medium heeled sandals. And it is 11:30 pm sunday night in a cafe flocked with college crowd with nothing better to do on a monday morning except attend a boring lecture.

I am having fun. So the lady walks up to her old man,

She: I am sneezing

He: Freezing

She: No, sneezing

He: Uh! ( And back to his book)

( She has gone back to her chair on a separate table, quite disappointed with the old mans preoccupation)

With all due respect , they actually look so adorable and fun to be doing this on a sunday night together, but i my idiotic side ticks off...

Buddeh uncle ka abhi yeh haal hai

toh jawani mein kya karteh hongeh

Bechari aunty itna tyar hokeh sath mein hain

lekin alag table pe behteh hain

Aunty baat karne ki koshish kar rahi hain

woh toh apni hee dunhki mein hain

Kya yaar, yeh ladhkeh weird hee cheez hain

Age no bar, caste no bar !

Kerela Mutton Curry made Punjabi style

2007-08-19T22:19:00.000-04:00

Ha! What did you think... it was finger lickin' good. You will not believe if I tell you what a spoilt brat I was at home with mom around... never cooked... except ONCE. Crazy girl. Hostel life was bliss, didn't even eat what the cook made. Was too busy doing other things, wonder how I survived without eats, maybe weekends at home should be given their due for I was decently fed then. Moved to Bombay and found a bai, who loved to clean my house to perfection and make food atleast edible, was enough, I was too busy travelling and spending my evenings in cafes to bother. Moved to South Africa, God sent African cook was handed a desi cook book and I swear by her cooking. She made Naan, paratha, south indian, north indian, any indian dish... as long as I provided the ingredients in the cupboard and fridge.

Now in the USA, age 32, cooking food nearly thrice a week is an achievement of no short a magnitude. So today i cooked mutton for the first time in my life. I know its crazy to admit, first time. Ok So i am pampered. And maybe a lil crazy to never have felt like cooking. But eating out, getting ready khana and that too good khana was never too tough. But now i like to cook. Suddenly have taken a liking to it. And I realised my blog cannot miss out my new interest and then maybe I need to start compiling anything special I made and that turned out extra special. This is not a cooking blog though... I am far from it.

I cook with my gut feel. Ok to think that someone who has never made mutton before wants to cook with her gut feel is no good a model to follow. But then, I have tasted many cuisines, seen my friends cook, my mom cook and my bai cook. And not to forget the desi coooking shows,LOL. And then somehow I believe in my ability to do anything perfect as long as i think I want to do it.

So there it goes, I picked up a recipe from the web. I just knew it has to be extremely masaledar. Thick rich tomato gravy and I now the chettinaad and kerela style would suit what i want. So googled, and found a kerela style recipe that sounded close to what i wanted to taste. The Chettinaad needed stuff i didn't have ready. So a Kerela mutton gravy, added with punjabi gut feel of adding aloo, fennel and dahi to the dish made a delectable concoction... finger lickin good. I am extremely proud of myself. The funny part is I never follow recipes to the T. I never measure my masalas the way the recipes recommend, always add my elements to it and I swear its better that way.

The recipe is too simple to sound good but it tastes very good. Trust me. Can be found here and don't forget to read Elizabeth and My comments on it to get the perfect taste. I gave the recipe a 3 star because it became a 5 star only post my expert handling of additional ingredients :)). Aloo needs to be added , i forgot to mention that in the comments :) Am talking like Sanjeev Kapoor now.

See, cooking is not that tough. No wonder house wives love it... it's the best past time at home and the best topic to discuss in a kitty party. If I can write about it for the the last 10 minutes typing away endless, imagine the immense potential of discussion.

This blog is incomplete without the mention of my first love

2007-08-19T02:03:00.001-04:00

I love the brat.

A colleague gifted me a collectors edition of Calvin and Hobbes, 3 books in a series. I am starting today to re-read all of them.

And very first one makes me want to blog it:

(For those who haven't read the toon, Calvin is a 4 year old brat who believes his stuffed tiger Hobbes is not inanimate but live and together they indulge in adventures with imagination running wild n wildiest. Hehehehheheh. I love him)

C : I will never be able to memorize all these dumb vocabulary words

(Gets into a cardboard carton, which he calls a 'TRANSMOGRIFIER' and transmorgrifiers himself to an elephant, since the elephant has amazing memory and that would make homework easier... LOL. Out he goes playing with Hobbes when walks in Susie, his play friend who he actually hates as a little boy, quite obviously as the little girl at four thinks she has her head firmly on her shoulders, quite unlike Calvin, of course.)

S: Hi Calvin, look at you. ( Since Calvin is all covered up and dirty playing in the mud)

C: Impressive, eh? How did you even recognise me. ( Who thinks he actually has been Trans.... to an elephant)

S: I will admit it wasn't easy.

C: Susie, here is a riddle, who do you think me and hobbes look like?

S: I give up

C: The Republican party and Tammany hall! See? Pretty good, huh? Forget it Hobbes, political humour is just too sophisticated for girls.

Mom : Calvin time for dinner

C: Mom will have a fit if I go in as an elephant. I better sneak to my room and transmogrify myself back.

Mom sees Calvin all covered up with mud sneaking in : What have you been doing!

C: It is Ok . This is not permanent

Mom : In the tub!

C in the Transmogrifier in his room: Back

Dad at the dinner table : So let's hear one word you learnt

C: Ok. Let's see. Uh.. hmm....

Dad : You better spend more time after dinner studying

C: Oh No! I remember them when I'm an elephant. I just don't know them now. Don't worry I will transmogrify myself before school tomorrow.

C in the room to Hobbes post dinner reading a comic while Hobbes at the study table learning vocab : You know Hobbes, if it wasn't for you I would have no fun.

Hobbes: I am learning some good words. You know the beets you brought me from dinner aren't bad ...they are certainly 'salubrious'.

The Piano man... what would Billy Joel think

2007-08-19T01:39:00.000-04:00

It's two o'clock on a Saturday

The regular crowd snores and sleeps

There is me sitting up late at night

Addicted to blogging for keeps

I say, "So much to say and do tonight

I am not really sure where to start

So much to think about in life

There just has to be a way to jump start"

La la la, de de da

La la, de de da

HILARIOUS.... Going Wonky at 2 am.

Coincidently, This song I will always remember. It was the first song I played on my first ever radio show, infact my first ever Live show on Yuv Vani, All India Radio, surprised to find that AIR even had a Paino Man CD way back in 1997, for a first ever request made to me on the show, at a time when I didn't even know the lyrics of the song, had never heard of the song, for a friend of mine, who drove me all the way and waited patiently outside while I aired the show, just to listen to the song. Fun times..... all in one breath.

Yahin hai zindagi, kuch khabh, chandh umeedeh

2007-08-19T00:42:00.000-04:00

More from the Gazals I am listening to...

Aaisa lagtah hai zindagi tum ho
Ajnabi kaise ajnabi tum ho

Abh koi aarzuh nahi baki
justahtoojh meri akhri tum ho
______________________________________________________________________________________

Safar mein dhoop toh hogi,Joh chal sakoh toh chalo

Sabhi hain bheedh mein, tum bhi nikal sakho, toh chalo

Kissi ke wasteh raheh kahan badalteeh hain

tum apne aap ko kudh hee badal sakho toh chalo

Yahan kissi ko koi rastah nahi detah

mujhe girah ke agar tum sambhal sakho toh chalo

____________________________________________________________________

Mirza Galib...Jagjit Singh at his best

2007-08-18T23:39:00.001-04:00

Listening to Gazals... the mesmerising voice of Jagjit Singh... think the word mesmerising was coined when they heard him sing.

These are the set of gazals I would listen to as a teenager with all my family around in Delhi... specifically Sarita Vihar. My family, my massi's family, dim lights, post the famous shahi paneer, butter chicken, dal and naan dinner at massi's house and thereafter a session of gazals and drinks.

Wahi gazaleh aaj phir se sunh rahi hoon
faraq itnah hai ki aaj mehfil nahi hai

Its raining outside, the chill is starting to set in ahead of the winters, it's dim lights and a nice mood to be listening to gazals. The song goes like this

Mohabbat mein nahi hai
faraq jeeneh aur marne ka

Usi ko dekh kar jeeteh hai
jis kafir pe dum nikleh

Bahut nikleh mere arman
lekin phir bhi kam nikleh

Missing everyone

2007-08-18T00:10:00.000-04:00

Miss you guys. Feels alone in the USA... a good job, getting a better deal very soon... better roads, a great car....but today when I see this pix I realise I miss you. And maybe will miss a lot more as time goes by.

Toh ek sher phesh kiya hai...

Har taraf har jagah

behshumar aadmi

Phir bhi tanhahiyoh ka

sheekar aadmi

Bhai visiting you in Toronto next weekend. Hopefully if the officials will stamp a visa on a passport needing renewal.

Spirit Airlines and their 1$ fares

2007-08-17T23:32:00.000-04:00

Could not get better. It's showing a three dollar fare to / from NYC.

Then their is Puerto Rico for 8$ from Florida. Hawaii, Mexico, Orlando and about 9 other destinations.

Whatever is up. This is the third email from Spirit advertising horribly lowwwwwwwwwwwwww fares in a week.

Who said you need money to travel anymore. You just need Spirit!!!!

A retirement farewell

2007-08-17T11:27:00.000-04:00

A two hour party full of people, songs, food, dessert and a 10 minute acknowledgement for 40 years of work in the company. I have never felt so many mixed emotions at an event that doesn't really involve me. I am an external consultant to this company but I genuinely am very fond of this old man named Dennis.

As he handed over his digital camera to me to click and keep forever his treasure of acknowledgement, camaraderie, belonging, warm smiles, tears brimming, I was so touched. I wanted to make sure I got it all right for him.

I : Dennis, I have clicked 100s of pictures. You will have a hard time sorting these.

He : Don't worry girl, I have a lot of time now. No more Sunday evenings to worry about.

His face was all red, his blue eyes lacked a sparkle as he sat with his head bent down, listening to his manager speak fondly of him to the audience. There were more retirees, passing warm comments on each other, the times when they came into office as young 19 years olds, looking no less than a Mil Gibson, they joked about days when "his hair were still blond", " She looked all dolled up", as they warmly hugged and shook hands.

19 to 60 years... a journey through life .... with people who are not your family but have seen you grow from young adults to wise old men with white beards and beer bellies, in your best and worst show off moments. Whom you have helped, talked about your newborn to his newborn, and I was choked with emotions, realisations, warm feelings and a realisation that my day will be here soon and I would be reflecting about life like this and that everything that runs through me today, will look so trivial 30 years down the line.

Life runs by very fast. Like Dennis told me, " It is still one minute at a time, and a minute is as long as it is, but then you look and suddenly so many minutes underway, while you were busy in daily stuff. Partying, working, seeing you kids grow up, between basketball games, swimming lessons and baseball. And suddenly you are old... so fast. It looks like yesterday."

And I look at his happy old man, looking forward to a new season fishing , hunting, braiing, taking his grand kids out for an afternoon, and I am filled with so many emotions.

- A life well lived
- A family lovingly built
- A lifetime that goes away in a snap
- Your little investment on the way
- And you are then suddenly not there

Life is so quantifiable in so many ways. And more than anything else, its the people that touched it in your journey, that shape it.

I am very emotional.

Madly in love

2007-08-15T13:07:00.000-04:00

If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me...... Jimmy Buffett.

Dreamy eyed College girl : How romantic.
A Fiancee : You make me blush.
Post marriage : He only wished I was as dumb as a blond.

LOL.

A poster in my bedroom as a kid

2007-08-15T11:06:00.000-04:00

I picked it up from the street vendor at Janpath. Or maybe an Archies. I don't precisely remember. But I do remember the colours, the background and the butterfly with its spread out wings and the print:

If you love something

Set it free

If it comes back to you

It is yours

If it does not

It never was

I must have been a teenager when I bought the poster. I didn't know what it really meant when I used to read it on my bedroom door, except that it sounded very philosophical and I was always in a mood to sport that attitude and intellect at that age.

Again in life, when I am reading this caption, I wonder if one really needs to pay heed to it. I would rather change it :

If you love something

set it free

It is the only way it will stay with you

If it doesn't come back to you

Dig deep, go all out, if you believe you really want it

Give it all you have

So that you never regret

Remember actions speak louder than words

AND definitely louder than thoughts

(As an afterthought....)

If you don't find yourself going back

don't cheat yourself to say it was important

That is my fierceful passion.

But then there is the other part, that understands sensitivity, the fact that there is a self respect that needs to be guarded, a need to be seeked. That dosen't want to demand love. That believes love is not pushy, it is just giving. It can be a lot of pain when you love alone and pure joy when you love together. So maybe someone who wrote this now is far wiser :

If you love something

set it free

If it comes back to you

It is yours

Otherwise it never was

Love as if it is the only reason you were brought onto earth

but remember

You can only do your part

You can't play someone elses.

Sometimes I wonder how true is idealism

2007-08-15T10:51:00.000-04:00

I see it everyday being flaunted, discussed, revered. I am a firm believer in it. But the moment I turn around, the very same people who supported and admired me for it, misuse it. So i wonder how true is it, is it just another comfort zone you go into for discussion, retreat and pacification. Is it something that adorns the wall and looks good. Difficult to implement and live by.

How much of a hypocrite are the admirers of idealism ?

I know the preachers and followers are true to it. But the admirers are probably the backbenchers who look at it, want it but do not have the ability and strength of character to stand by it. Probably that is it.

A search on Idealism on the Microsoft Thesaurus returns:

Romanticism
Impracticality
Optimism

Shucks! So is that how the world looks at it. And you know what the antonym reads: Realism %?!!!

Disowing my cell phone

2007-08-14T10:45:00.000-04:00

It is like parting with a very personnel thing. It's how my dad felt when I took on his Maruti 800 and then royally rogered a well maintained car to a teenager's damaged haven. How when i returned my first car from work or sold my first self bought car. There is a weird attachment. Logically it is an inanimate object with no feelings but the personalisation of the same and the comfort of owing it as yours, makes the parting so tough.

I like my Samsung black little phone, which is all bashed up. Not a great model but sturdy. It's survived a zillion times I have dropped it, My son has rogered it, its scratched. But today when I have to make a choice between this phone and a swanky Motrola RAZR and logically i rather keep the later, I feel I really like this one. After all it's mine.

To get down to the practical stats too, you know what, It is so difficult to de-personalise cell phones. Photos I can manage, but messages that I don't want to erase, voice mails I want to keep forever. Small little things. OK getting down like a Kasai, down to de-personalisation and looking forward to the new thing. Funny how blogging seems to put most matters to rest and one can just get on... read it over... realise its taken care of....yes you did feel like this... but this is what you need to do and you move on. That by the way, is about blogging in general. I really haven't gotten as wonky as to write this about a phone!!!! :)))

Something I really need to build in my kids

2007-08-14T10:28:00.000-04:00

Today morning I was late for work again... The normal office hours in USA can be described as 8 to 4:30. And I am normally running late. Why?? If you really want to know, this is why:

I am hanging around on the net late night too. So I sleep late.
Hence I do not wake up on time.
Hence I do not leave home on time.
Therefore my son is not dropped off at the daycare for breakfast
And I am late for work.

I know It is incredibly irresponsible behavior. But it is not the irresponsible angle that troubles me. It is the lack of self discipline or giving the right thing importance at the right time element.

My mom has been saying this to me ever since I was a kid. That time I use to get my sister late and my school friend late. We used to be the last ones running, hoping to make it through the gates before the guard could close them, with the school bell ringing in the background. Gosh I don't know how my sister coped up with me. And my friend. They must have been delayed by me almost every single day for 7 years.

And now the cycle has been repeating at work. Nearly every single day for one year. :))

So essentially I find myself in a dire need of improvement here. Do not read this as an indication that all I want to do is start to come to work early. That is a requirement out of me. Requirements do not normally bother me until I allow them too. I allow them when... I start to see something as important and still I don't see myself act on it. That is when it starts to bother me. There are things important to the world in general, but I do not rake too much about them, simply because they were never my priority. That explains why getting late for school continued for 7 years. I just wanted to be in sharp 7:45am when the bell rang. My sister and friend always fought with me, every single day, because their priority was 7:40 am.

Conflicts with self and others start with difference in priorities. The essential element is.... defining priority. If you want to read insightful philosophy... you must know it normally sounds intelligent when it reads this confused. Hence for your benefit, Nutshell Advise ... must learn to do what I think is important at that point in time and not postphone it or just deliberate on it.. Congratilations on yuour first lession.

Reality check : I don't give it enough importance, otherwise I would take stock. To make time for my stuff, sometime , at a time before it affects me adversely.

Clue that is effects me now: Getting late at work , works me up. I hate it. It's not getting late...as in the act. It is the effect the act has one me , that is the key to unhappiness.

Like maybe so many things we do in life. We know we shouldn't and yet we do. Or we don't find a solution for them and hence we just go on doing them aimlessly and thoughtlessly. Hoping things will correct over time. But reality is they never do and never will until we decide that this is how we want it. It is our life and nothing about it is trivial. All small things build up. The end result is either perfect or chaos or just getting there. So I guess, one thing I want to pass on to my kids very strongly.... Many small things done for the moment eventually build up. They become reality. The moment you notice that happen, immediately take stock. Every action has a repercussion and you decide if you can make it favourable or aimlessly relent futile.

From a very interesting Blog i read

2007-08-13T15:04:00.000-04:00

A lady from Karachi. Just the name sounds very exotic. She writes very well and brings in a new perspective of the modern generation in Pakistan.... very impressive and hip. I am really intrigued.

She wrote a very interesting concept, ripe enough to take my fancy:

"There are 3 types of love :

The One time love - The guy who makes you dream, cry, love and makes you believe the coming 10 years will pass off in a blink.
The seasonal love - The guy who comes into your life for a reason. Brings lots of happiness and then goes away as suddenly, by that time you have matured enough to let him go for his happiness.
The lifetime love - The guy from whom you learn a lot in life and who sews it all together, gives you direction and helps you give back to the world, what you learnt from him"

Very interesting....I am offering a generic take on each type, not on the lady who wrote it mind you but for any girl who reads and identifies with it, because it actually sounds a very likely experience:

The One time love - My take - Sounds like first love
The seasonal love - My take - Sounds like true love but the one who never really loved you back enough
The lifetime love - My take - He loves you. I don't read love the other way around. Plain respect, admiration and gratefulness.

When I see cops back home

2007-08-12T14:50:00.000-04:00

Doing their duty in a country corrupted in every conceivable manner for good or bad or reasons out of scope of this writing. I am only discussing the pitiable plight of the guardians of law in a country where law favours the power, ethos are detailed by page 3 and survival is dictated by ghettos. OK I know i am being extreme in passing the opinion but I am honestly disgusted. Probably I am doing what Apu did to the image of NRIs in the US through the Simpson movie.

But when I see the cop quarter unable to provide basic housing to the families of the policemen in my country and they sheltering themselves under a canvas tent in the parking lot of the Domestic airport at Ville Parle, Mumbai, I am disgusted. And then the justice will hold them responsible for taking a Rs.20 bribe from a driver in Chandigarh.

When I see the Cops in the USA confidently strutting around in crisp new uniforms , all geared up with equipment and commanding respect from the civilians, I am outraged at the Indian government for not providing basics to the men they put in power. If they lack respect from the authorities they represent, what respect will they show while dealing with the critical sensitive civilian justice they have been endowed the powers and discretion to bestow. Ofcourse I am outraged.

Sometimes I wish to take out a Morcha to stand up against the lawlessness under the facade of Law as becoming quite a rule. Countless Bollywood movies display the nexus with the underworld, lack of justice in the system, training young officers to become ruthless dictarians and inhuman officials. Its is disastrous. Taking bribes is the first step when the hawaldar gets started, getting into the system of lawlessness.

Young educated strong politically networked leaders in the system offer hope, before they get looped into the system in a bad way. One definitely needs to dirty his hands, to take on the dirt but somewhere when the ethos get greased that they can't even see the black and the white as two separate, is where the trouble starts.

Madrid, Spain.... siesta & party

2007-08-12T14:15:00.000-04:00

I have always wanted to go to Greece... the white washed mud walls, the blue calm sea, the romanticism.

But now the buzzword seems to be Spain. Apparently a hot destination. Until I heard this.... Never realised I wanted to work there too. And that might actually be more interesting.

I hear, Normal work hours start at 10 am. People work till 1. Then it is siesta time. People go home, eat a meal, sleep or generally while away time at the Madrid square at a barista. They return back to work at 4pm.......!!!!!!!!!!!!! Work till 8 pm. Then back home. TV, meal time, some even sleep. Party (dAIIIIIIIIIIILYYYYYYYYYYYYY) starts at 11. The crowd in the pubs peaks at 2 am and then normally by 5am it is on. After a point, the hard workers like asians will loose touch with reality, time and date. Because this is everyday. Wonder what the weekend is like. I was so busy dreaming what work like that would be like that I forgot to figure this out:))

Udaipur....It is really beautiful

2007-08-12T13:47:00.000-04:00

I remember travelling there as a 16 year old girl with my family. Even then it was idealic and beautiful. The forts, the lake, the palaces now serving as heritage hotels....and a top a hill, surrounded by a lake in sandstone slates was the Oberoi Udaivillas.

And as I was reading in 2007 Travel & Leisure rated the property as the best hotel. Treat yourself to the picture gallery and the grandeur and tradition of Luxury in India. Raveena Tandon got married here. Now i remember. :))

Ofcoure there is Taj Lake Palace equally beautiful and revered by the Udaipur Tourist. But this blog entry is only to salute the rating of the best hotel of 2007. By the way, the first two pics are the Taj Lake Palace and the 3rd pic is UdaiVillas.

The next article i write will be about the Backwater fantasy of Kerela.

Another newcomer with the kashmakash voice

2007-08-11T03:24:00.000-04:00

Listening to 'Kuch iss tarah' by Atif Aslam from his album Doorie for the third time at 3:30 am on the weekend. There must be some merit there. Actually planning to listen to it 2 more times before i hit bed.

Mushy but melodious and kinda romantic with the casualness of a conversation and the mood of a gazal. I like the guy, though he is a kid. Saw an Interview on MTV and was kinda dissappointed by his shy and sleepy monotone. But he sings well.

The characterisation was set by Palash Sen, the Euphoria guy. Good looking, fun, most importantly highly educated... an IIT engg. The 'Mahee Veh' style, Long kurta and a rocking band. And much young talent since then has taken centre stage to sing the same laid back, punjabi-hindi-delhi style rock.

Disgusting disregard and they rather call it love

2007-08-10T15:28:00.000-04:00

I wonder what is love. It finally seems to be just self fantasising. Till it suits you, doesn't bother you or irritate you, you go on with it. Finally loyalty, being there for someone is all profanity,a disguise, for sure one day selfishness will overtake all. It happens every time.

I don't have the right to judge anyone based on what they feel or do. They have very innate justifications that work for them. But when I read this blog note , I was disgusted:

Darling,No matter what you may think, I love you and always will. I am so sorry things didn't work out between us but I think it is better that we end things while there is still so much love between us. You have taught me so many things, and I have shared things with you I've never shared with anyone before. Thank you for always supporting me and for always being there for me. Thank you for making me go running, for inspiring me to achieve greatness, for not giving up on me when everyone else had. I believe you will achieve everything you ever dreamed of, and if not with me by your side, with someone else even more wonderful. I hope that one day when we have both healed we can be great friends again. Until then I will miss your warmth and your light in my life. I love you, even if it is not the love you deserve.So if you wake and find me goneHey babe, just carry onYou see I need my fantasyI still believe, it's best to leave while I'm in loveForever,XYZ.

People want to call this love. Sorry I am disgusted. Utterly disgusted to see this posting. Cannot say more. When did love become hyprocital?

Laptop - The new face of companionship

2007-08-07T09:34:00.000-04:00

I was at Sweetwaters cafe, my recess downtown Ann Arbor, privy amongst the hoards of people who swarmed the place. I was sitting there on a couch, with every conceivable spot taken by either a student from the Michigan university or an old man or an old couple enagaged in deep conversation. And in all this noise and clamour, I sat , my animus intact in concentration. It gives me a strange comfort to self analyse with secrecy my thoughts in this chaotic abuzz.

But while i sat there couldn't help notice that every table had a laptop or a book, depending on if you were the young or the old lot. 90% were with laptops and nothing around mattered. The laptop would give them company for as long as they wanted. Google search, blogs, research articles, general stuff would just keep them going with the free wireless on offer. And I suddenly realised how we have learnt to seclude ourselves from people. How gadgets are finally our best friends, reliable and at disposal without a hassle. How if there was no laptop, 60% of our times at work would be spent quite futile. How in a crowd , we can learn to be alone with a companionship that is rather interesting, very absorbing and encompassing.

Lady in Purple

2007-07-31T12:25:00.000-04:00

Can't believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeks!

As I was growing up and travelling the world with my parents, I wanted to live abroad for the sheer joy of dressing up and encountering people who dress up. It all looked very flashy.The right trousers, with the right shirt, the perfect hair-do, hair colour, the pointed heels, straight out of BMW 6 series, into a plush office. Little did I think that in Sucking Michigan all I will encounter is white ladies dressed in Purple blazers, magenta shirts, nike shoes, walmart attires, braided hair, country cotton floral dresses all over the work place. SHUCKS! Disgusting. Whatever happened. Harrods, 5th Ave, LA .... perfect grooming, dressing, walking , talking, cars, roads, shoes..... I think I have gone insane.

For a moment when you are out of normal schedule

2007-07-24T10:30:00.000-04:00

It was a hilarious experience. I was walking from the parking lot towards my office when i decided to take the elevator instead of the staircase. I opted for the quicker mode of transport for reasons that i was running late for work. Some people have all the time and luxury to use the staircase to walk at 9:10 am, for health reasons. Its past 9 damn it. So i rush into the elevator on the 4th floor.

The door opens, there is no space to take in more people. Yet the insiders adjust. I walk in. Another lady behind me. And then a huge burly man. The elevator door closes. And that is the beginning of the episode that lasted 50 minutes. The elevator refused to budge.

Are we overloaded ? No, it says 21 people. We were barely 12. And definitely not 2100 pounds.

Ok, so the thing jammed by itself between the 4th and 3rd floor.

Frantic, pressing the buttons. The Alarms. And finally a lady , sounding cool as a cucumber , answers the frantic alarmed voices on this side of the microphone. " We will be getting in touch with OTIS. Give us a while".

Hello, excuse me. The office has 30 odd elevators and are you saying you have no one on-site to attend to this.

In the meantime, the elevator starts to get stuffy. And the conversations take off. And i swear it was hilarious.

" I know of this one case who was locked inside the lifts for 4 hours and later became incapable of working". Uhh????

"Hi, cheryl, thanks for the Verizon connectivity. Could you proceed without me in the meeting. I am stuck in the lift and don't know when will they be able to open it." Encouraging?

"I don't like the sound of the wires tugging on the elevator. It makes me feel we are in real trouble".

"Does anyone know how is the weather outside?"

"Is anyone a Harry Potter fan ?"

"I have an interview at 10. My hair will be all messy by the time we get out from all the sweat. I think I will need to shower in the gym before i can proceed for the interview."

"Oh, they rather give us a free buffet at MGM. These MGM parking people."

And it was endless for 50 minutes non stop. And most of the time we were laughing away. Hilarious. All the absurd comments that people pass to uplift themselves, others, take out their fears or frustrations. I was only hoping the air keeps circulating!!!

Trade Emission Trading Units

2007-07-19T10:49:00.000-04:00

I was very very amused trying to understand the procedure and logic of Emission Trading Units, from a prospective friend I met at Starbucks , while both of us were wondering how to make Saturday night interesting over coffee. So I Learnt that ETU as per Kyoto Protocal are globally traded as in a stock market.

More about it....

"Emissions trading is a way of introducing flexibility into a system where participants have to meet emissions targets. These participants may be countries (as in the case of the Kyoto Protocol), or companies (as in the case of a domestic emissions trading scheme). Participants can buy units to cover any emissions above their targets, or sell units if they reduce their emissions below their targets. The presence of a market for these units creates a value for emissions reductions which stimulates investment in the most cost-effective areas. Emissions trading leads to a reduction in compliance costs compared to meeting the same target through domestic/internal means only. "

A growing no of companies are looking at emission trading as a key part of their strategy. The trade typically occurs when a company exceeding its emission units, looks out to buy units from another company that has used less. The reason for the later using less units, is because the latter has seriously invested in better equipment or research to achieve the needful. The former doesn't have the means to do so and hence it's easier for him to purchase it, rather than generate the result. Expand this to the global economy and the whole thing is a daily stock trading for CO2, nitrates, sulphates or any pollutant under the sun.

The trading in supervised for quality assurance by NGO's, independent consultants or mandatory emission trading programs, like the EU. Companies are getting involved in a big way. BP and Shell provide online traceability of their internal trading mechanism. GE has best practices forums on the same. Lots to be shaped up yet in terms of research, policies, action plans. But definitely a very enlightening conversation.

Never loose touch with your past, it's your best teacher

2007-07-19T10:22:00.000-04:00

Grown up a wee bit at 32, I realise how important it is to keep touching base with yourself and your past. It is a good teacher and a very wise one. And then it has seen you grow from your naive innocent self to the mature professional house-maker adult you have metamorphosised to, as a natural transition.

The images as they flash through my mind, my true feelings, one stage to the other, they are my biggest teachers... of my strengths, weaknesses, failings and accomplishments in life. Sometimes they leave me shaky, sometimes convinced, but all in the waking knowledge that I am informed of consequences and backups to my feelings and actions.

There is something about sitting late all by yourself and blogging

2007-07-17T00:10:00.001-04:00

It's distinctly the most peaceful and introspective part of my day. it's 12:10 am on a Tuesday morning. I just got done with my getting the house in order, my dishwasher is swish swishy with the dishes underway, the kitchen looks clean, the night lamp is on and it's my time. The time of the day when i just want to sit and reflect on the day, the people that made it what it is and everything around me that governs my life everyday. And I realise it is so important to reflect on it, every single day.

So much to be said about Life, the infinite potential, the vibes one can create and receive, the direction one could lend to ones dissipated energies... in just these quite minutes of introspection. The quite minutes when you are grateful for what you have, worried about what you don't, willing to provide for what you desire, dreams that shape up in the dim candle lights, anxiousness at each day running past and yet hope... of a lifetime.

As I always say, there is something about keying away unstoppable on the laptop...

As words shape up and letters are formed

It's me , my world and my inner mind

The power to deduce and infer my priorities in life

And channelise my energies towards meeting what is truly the essence of my existence.

Sometimes it take a lifetime to figure out what you want from life

And sometimes a lifetime to get what you want

either way it's a start in the right direction

As words shape up and letters are formed.

Enneagram - For personality type

2007-07-16T15:30:00.000-04:00

I have always found Zodiac signs and Personality tests very interesting. More for an insight into myself and my loved ones. And there I am forwarded this article to read from an online friend, who herself is very introspective about personalities, traits and Knowledge management.

I would recommend you read try this online test for free and read up on your personality type to figure out not what you are but what you can easily aim to be for improvement. e.g. You could be a 4 (The individualist) and your best will come out if you try being type 2 (which is an Achiever), because the personality traits are there but they need to be bent towards a type 2 to be more objective from life. Its interesting to read. But you could be 4, type 9 -The peacemaker, and Type 7- The loyalist, at the same time. Didn't get further into it. It does however go on to state how you can use your type and be more productive at work, in relations and personal life.

Better than it sounds

2007-07-13T15:04:00.000-04:00

Chocolates. The Europeans know what they are talking about here. I can vouch for it. The Cadbury's Milk and whole nut chocolates, the Kit Kat, the Snickers, After eight.... are just how a chocolate is meant to be. Dreamy, smooth, chocolicious. OK I am completely carried away. I am craving for one as i write this article.

I wish i could be in London, shopping an overloaded cart of only chocolates.

The Belgians know how to make it. The Swiss know how to play it. The Americans can't even dope it.

OK. No more chocolate buys from America. :)) I need to import my needs.

Salad Club

2007-07-11T12:45:00.000-04:00

Well I think it worthy of a mention. What essentially is a club ?

A club is a conglomeration of a group of members, with a management created to advise direction and functionality, for facilititating a common cause. So we have heard of a yatch club, a sports club, a kitty club, Desi party club, the laughing club and now a rare innovation all for a good cause .... Salad club.

In my office, for lunch time, a bunch of about 10 people got together to realise that the cafeteria food was expensive and unhealthy over a lifetime spent at work. Packing food in the morning was a chore. And yet we end up not getting the essential vitamins and minerals and need to depend on our daily Vit capsules. So there was a need felt. A small effort in the direction was that these 10 people pooled in 10 salad items in the fridge for the week, with a promise to replenish every week and share within the group.

Sounds simple right. Today the effort has become 25 people. Which means a salad buffet to say the least every lunch hour, every week. All you do is pay $5 per week to the lady who buys green leaves and tracks a schedule for someone to lay out and then clear the buffet ( a 10 minute task per day) for the group. Other members simply bring in one item per week and put it in the common fridge. And there you go, 25 people eating healthy food at minimal cost everyday at work.

What a simple and fantastic idea put to work. And the menu sounds good t00 - Chicken fingers, tuna, boiled egg. cucumber, salad tomato, peanuts, almonds, pineapple, oranges, celery sticks, crackers, beetroot, cottage cheese, a myriad dressings and ... the list is pretty sumptuous.

Software solution - a source of solution or added complexity ?

2007-07-11T11:46:00.000-04:00

Very vital and pertinent point that i am debating with to arrive at my future course of career progression.

An ERP Business Process Mapping consultant for 8 years at the prime of my career, I started off on QAD's ERP solution called MFG/PRO. A medium sized ERP that I have thoroughly enjoyed working on and experimenting with to deliver customised solutions to all my clients. A journey full of learnings - self, business, skills.

I decided to take a deviation to SAP. Learnt it. Tried to practise it. Lost interest. Why?

Due credit to the evolved ERP, I had to struggle to learn and practise it as a novice instead of lead on something I knew well. It was a deterrent for sure.
The curious George in me seeked answers, but did not manage many intelligent responses in return. The whole crowd seems to be learning the monster.
The solution software is more complex to handle than the solution itself. So that is where I hit the nail on the hammer and I said , OK that is it. Doesn't gel with me. I want a software solution that caters as an exact fit with manageable ease, even though it could lack Hi-tech features.

So I am back to what I do best. SAP to MFG/PRO. Many industries have realised it too.

How green is the grass in India?

2007-07-11T11:06:00.000-04:00

I borrowed the tittle for my write-up from TOI. This best describes it. Many NRI are debating this, much of the brain-drain debating to get back, passions, family ties, a boost to the economy, the multi-stories with exclusive club benefits, the schooling, challenges involved with inculcating family values and cultural nuances in the younger generation, are among many a reasons for people to be getting back to India.

I moved in to the USA an year back from India. And my group of associates and friends are just waiting to get back in the next 5 years, set as a target. So i wonder, I debate and i really genuinely want to figure this out.

The very reasons you came here for initially - infrastructure, clean environment and a picture perfect set-up, commercialisation hitting the roof, gizmo and affordable gadgets, cars and the roads to drive it on, medical benefits, better higher education, or just the word OPPORTUNITY in general - are we saying you are done with it. Are you saying, India is now offering sufficiently enough or have you decided this is not important and we need to listen to out heart now. Sure, listen to out heart we must. Without that life is a struggle and everything is meaningless. But then is the tug in the heart, strong enough to brave reality.

I want to substantiate this with a live example of a friend at work. He decided to go back because that is where his heart lay. 1 year later... a house 45 minutes away from work, mazing through dilapidated chennai roads, confused at the fact if the money he makes will grow or just be eaten away in the struggle to build a house, car and basics, can he sustain the 9 to 9 work hours repeatedly.... so are the ties in India helping him get by.

Another couple , very well settled in the financial district uprise of Manhattan, are feeling the pinch of family ties. The lack of the essence of living, when financial security is no longer an issue.

Endless stories, each with their own struggles and logic to get back. Most of them at the end of the day disillusioned by the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

Now if you were going as the CIO or the VP of Infosys, I wouldn't even debate it. But commoners like us, packing off in a haste, I hope the reality check are done before they venture out.

Iconic Iphone... what a back up strategy post the Ipod

2007-07-10T10:15:00.000-04:00

Iphone... finally I need to write about it. Have been reading about it. Coincidentally the day it was released was one of the happiest days of my life, for very other reasons, quite opposed to the thrills of voluptuous technology. Articles flood newspapers and magazines and I am getting a craving to buy the gizmo for the feel of it. For just the way it looks, the class it exudes, the well crafted lines of sophistication and the pleasure of owning a hi-tech 'finally arrived' invention. Its the best a phone can get. Apple actually reinvented the phone.

It has many features that everyone can drool about...

The Voicemail, Dial in, SMS features stand apart

A photo management feature that outruns any other phone

Internet in your pocket with the screen that itself cost $80 dollars on a device retailing for $450... a major chunk of the cost for 3.5 in wide screen display. Such a pleasure ... clean crisp display.

Syncs to Itunes and Your computer goes without saying. Some things are so for granted coming from Apple

All Video play features.

A mini portable TV on the go

Wi-Fi, Bluetooth , EDGE enabled, goes without saying. Again its an Apple afterall.

I flipped for the following features:

A flip screen that aligns horizontal or vertical, depending on how the phone is held. Oh how i love the feature. Its slick.

The multi tasking ability on the equipment... you could browse the Internet, magnify a part of the screen, while downloading mails in the background and listen to your fav tunes. Its amazing. You couldn't possibly conceive of something more to ask for.

The touch, pinch, flick feature of the multi-touch screen that discards the idiotic pen that accompanies the like of the Treo. I have always found those so weird and pseudo to use. If it can sense the touch of a pen why not my finger tip, has been my logic and so somehow i have always detested the pseudo smart Treos and pen devices.

When Steeve Jobs first designed the Ipod, he did it on a piece of soap. That is why that square feel to the product. They carved out the Ipod details on a piece of soap. What an amazing story. And now the same square shape has become a revolutionary Phone, Camera, music system, Internet browser all rolled into one. Maybe another decade they will now reap the benefits from the Iphone. Till another revolution dawns from Apple. Sometimes i find it difficult to describe the feeling of awe, amazement and evolution that engulfs me thinking about the advancements in technology, the possibilities from the undefined.

Though I wonder what good AT&T can bring to the table. But as always proven, Apple should know what it is doing. Though this time i doubt it. They should have tied up with Verizon. But then maybe they will make more money from Cingular than they can from the sale of the product in the initial years and later when they open up the phone post 5 years to another service provider like Verizon, they will rake in the money from the actual consumer market. Wonder if I can resist the product till then, even though AT&T sucks.

Grateful

2007-07-06T15:28:00.000-04:00

Weird when one feels a piercing pain,
one feels like writing...
as if words and font and colour and a backdrop will enliven the pain, and then its gone

As words shape up and letters are formed
it's sublime
it's me and my world
and the inner mind

it's pretence put apart
a soft warm light
a couch and a laptop
and 30 years of my life

of moments i cherish
of dreams i built
of relationships i nurture
of pride and prejudice
of failure and failings
of strengths, happiness
of optimism and belief
of gratefulness, and solidarity
Of so much that one has

Valentino tailored!

2007-06-28T10:59:00.000-04:00

Hello.... Nattily tailored!!!!

Excuse me, just look at the pix of this man to the left. Does he look less than a cartoon, a dramatic character out of Chicago blues, a guy any normal girl will find pinky to his booties.

Shucks what is wrong with designers and their penchant for designing. While the world trend moves hip and trendier, while it is cool to be casual and earthy, dressed but smart.... the latest designs for menswear is getting catty, feminine and sissy.

Miserable. I am totally disgusted.

Tony Blair and a send off at 10 Downing Street

2007-06-28T10:45:00.000-04:00

Few politicians in today's time evoke a feeling of loyalty. I always felt Tony Blair as a very capable PM for Britain. The Iraq war tarnished his image. Even in this farewell speech he states that he feels sorry that so many soldiers had to suffer against this fight to restore world peace but that he was never sorry that he supported the war. On a large scale of things, a response back to fight terrorism was required. The world can't sit and watch and let the dirty minds take control and cause hedonist waves of tension and rule terror in the minds. Someone had to take the step. So yes, a war was justified. But should the target have been Iraq and that is where it became debatable. Iraq had too many interest points on the political and economist strategy that made it debatable. And then the fact that the war got so prolonged. There was no solution envisioned and the bombardment to a land of innocent victims made sympathy waves rise worldwide.

That said, I like Tony Blair. That family image of a clean politician. I felt a touchy feeling seeing him wave off from his decade old residence at 10 Downing.

And we live each day, as if nothing matters !

2007-06-27T10:35:00.000-04:00

Leigh is busy reading the Detroit Press. There are more alarming global issues that need to be addressed, than the number of visitors on the Banana Republic site during peak sale time.
I: Look at this picture !

L: (Leigh is alarmed) Your fuel tank is running empty again !

I : This is the world's fuel tank Leigh. (disgusted) It's running empty.

L: Oh! I always miss the big picture. (back to the stupid article he was on)

So rightly said Leigh, the whole world misses the big picture as if this is someone else's problem. We have probably relegated responsibility to a mass of sci-fi team that exist in another time and zone, we don't know them, we don't relate to them, we think they are the nerds from school who could never manage to have a girl/ boy friend, they work on some discoveries we use if it's like a Viagra or an mp3 format but who cares what they talk about global warming, recycling, alternative gasoline.
It's not them Sire, but we, who are the Nerds. The geeks who have washed hands off global responsibility. Who live like ostriches in their own dream world of fashion, shopping, golfing, movies, music and emails. As if nothing else but ourselves matter.
My Presentation on the coloured printers needs to print perfect, even if i waste a ream of paper carelessly. I need to dance the morning jig, while the water runs in the basin. My car stereo needs to keep playing, who cares if a gallon of fuel is wasted while i wait to pick up my fiance from outside work. I don't eat this crap, i can dump it. Who cares if teaming millions starve a morsel.
WHO CARES !!! If we don't, why should somebody else for us.
I think its chic to own social responsibilities. Not just be vocal about them but vigilant and contribute our bit, even if our little contribution is in planting a sampling. Every small step goes a long way. Awareness and voicing opinions in a contributory manner is important. The best part of commercialism is that it promotes inventions, discoveries and competition. Superficial but promotional social responsibilities help market certain products. We can at the least support whatever we think is good for the world, be it the next GM H2 car. I get very upset when I think about how oil wells were burnt in the first gulf war. Acrid hedonism and brutal insult to the gifts of nature. How could someone even think of damaging life giving resources so callously. There are many such things that happen around us. We voice our opinions in our domain clusters but when will these Opinions cause a ripple, let alone a renaissance. At least, then we can vouch we are not the ostrich in the farm, who does not get the whole picture.

Not just for the graduating class of 2007

2007-06-27T10:06:00.000-04:00

I am in love with this inspirational speech by Steeve Jobs for the graduating Stanford class. When I read it, it truly made me wake up and listen and admire the man for the exuding enthusiasm and uncomplicated great philosophy in life.
In the same league, is this speech by Bill Gates for the graduating class at Harvard. He brings in a different perspective to success, a service to humanity and the bridging of inequity at a time when we all are just so self centered and living in our world, provided for by others, and who are these others doesn't seem to matter, as long as we are provided for.
Truly Men of great vision and real life examples for the young generation. Attune to the time, needs, dogmas and visions of our times.

Ann Arbor summer festival

2007-06-24T01:19:00.001-04:00

Summer time is really fun time. Ann Arbor looks and feels very beautiful. Lilies, roses, irises, myriad colors and dainty pretty flourishing gardens. The sun dresses and summer tans dot downtown. Students are all over the campus and hordes of activities are on. It is idyllic to be lazying under green canopy, green soft grass , listening to the strums of guitars as students sit around in groups lazying under the blue summer skies or just being a part of young energy that fills Ann Arbor in the summer.

The summer festival is on. It's called 'Top of The Park'. Every evening there is a hoard of eager audiences waiting for an event - party, live bands, theatre, visual arts or plain family fun. Over the last two decades, the festival has been a part of Ann Arbor's thriving summer scene. It is fun to just unwind, see people come out with families, as students groups, all sorts, just jiving away on a quadrant road side and dancing their hearts out. I love it. Go there when I can and it's just so nice and chilled. My little one loves it too- Socialising and the dance part of it, Sometimes the Stuchhi that follows.

Next couple of weeks and the Ann Arbor art festival will be on. Again a conglomerate attracting artists from all over the country. Looking forward to it.