SO much is happening. All for the good. Yet all very difficult to manage. I guess this is my only way to vent it out, write on my blog. Sorry folks if it reads confused, I am confused too.
I have so many questions for me to think through.... i think through them, but i cannot control any... so is there a point in thinking through at all. Yet i think :
- Sometimes the way to love or loved ones is hard, so do people give up ?
- Do distractions like a new place to live, a most adventurous lifestyle, a more interesting job, distract most people and therefore love and all that goes with it becomes less important if the path is troubled? Is that why distance kills relationships?
- Are people so pro change that changes (even material or transient) , supersede all other emotions ?
- Are human emotions shallow and just good-for-the-time being?
- Is being dependent on someone you love really that bad?
- Should you ever be dependent on people u love ? Not because the expectation you have is wrong, but people are shallow, selfish and run away from difficulties the moment they get a chance ?
- Am i becoming more negative everyday or am i just getting desperate?
- Do i need a healing touch or do i just want to be by myself?
- Does being independent prove a point ? Making my own money, paying my own rent, dealing with my schedule and trying to liberate myself from any dependency prove that i am more superior or stronger ? Isn't resilience and ability to manage in your current situation harder ?
- I am struggling, Despite all my blessings , i am struggling. Is it with myself, complex human behavior or pure expectations .
I am yet going to be thinking. Maybe this blog will just turn introspective till i have my answers and my confidence back.
Love
Me
2 comments:
Wow I wondered if I wrote that. The thing is we know the answers to most of those questions - intellecutally but emotionally - not so much. I have at times been accused of being too independent and too needy in relationships. All we can try to do is be true to ourselves...and let the rest of the world sort itself out.
Hi Thanks for that... I guess Carnal people like to categorize women that way... needy in a relationship, dependent in a relationship. I am surprised that despite being a very independent women i feel so dependent in a relationship.
For me , dependency and ability to be dependent, the comfort in being dependent defines a relationship. If that is not the level it needs to be , I struggle.
I struggle because I cant let go and i want to see the relationshop reach a comfort level. I cannot control that , again that is dependent on the other person who started the trouble (the dependency issue) in the first place.
It sucks all my energy to get into petty struggles.
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