Something evokes this in me everytime...

People who are matter of fact, charged, optimist and idealists excite me in life. But sometimes too much of fact of the matter discussion takes away the beauty of subtle sensitivity, of heart rendering warmth and tender emotions. Practicality is a tool to help shape dreams, it cannot become your dream. Nothing can surpass emotions.

A poster in my bedroom as a kid

I picked it up from the street vendor at Janpath. Or maybe an Archies. I don't precisely remember. But I do remember the colours, the background and the butterfly with its spread out wings and the print:

If you love something

Set it free

If it comes back to you

It is yours

If it does not

It never was

I must have been a teenager when I bought the poster. I didn't know what it really meant when I used to read it on my bedroom door, except that it sounded very philosophical and I was always in a mood to sport that attitude and intellect at that age.

Again in life, when I am reading this caption, I wonder if one really needs to pay heed to it. I would rather change it :

If you love something

set it free

It is the only way it will stay with you

If it doesn't come back to you

Dig deep, go all out, if you believe you really want it

Give it all you have

So that you never regret

Remember actions speak louder than words

AND definitely louder than thoughts

(As an afterthought....)

If you don't find yourself going back

don't cheat yourself to say it was important

That is my fierceful passion.

But then there is the other part, that understands sensitivity, the fact that there is a self respect that needs to be guarded, a need to be seeked. That dosen't want to demand love. That believes love is not pushy, it is just giving. It can be a lot of pain when you love alone and pure joy when you love together. So maybe someone who wrote this now is far wiser :

If you love something

set it free

If it comes back to you

It is yours

Otherwise it never was

Love as if it is the only reason you were brought onto earth

but remember

You can only do your part

You can't play someone elses.

Sometimes I wonder how true is idealism

I see it everyday being flaunted, discussed, revered. I am a firm believer in it. But the moment I turn around, the very same people who supported and admired me for it, misuse it. So i wonder how true is it, is it just another comfort zone you go into for discussion, retreat and pacification. Is it something that adorns the wall and looks good. Difficult to implement and live by.

How much of a hypocrite are the admirers of idealism ?

I know the preachers and followers are true to it. But the admirers are probably the backbenchers who look at it, want it but do not have the ability and strength of character to stand by it. Probably that is it.

A search on Idealism on the Microsoft Thesaurus returns:

• Romanticism
• Impracticality
• Optimism

Shucks! So is that how the world looks at it. And you know what the antonym reads: Realism %?!!!

When I see cops back home

Doing their duty in a country corrupted in every conceivable manner for good or bad or reasons out of scope of this writing. I am only discussing the pitiable plight of the guardians of law in a country where law favours the power, ethos are detailed by page 3 and survival is dictated by ghettos. OK I know i am being extreme in passing the opinion but I am honestly disgusted. Probably I am doing what Apu did to the image of NRIs in the US through the Simpson movie.

But when I see the cop quarter unable to provide basic housing to the families of the policemen in my country and they sheltering themselves under a canvas tent in the parking lot of the Domestic airport at Ville Parle, Mumbai, I am disgusted. And then the justice will hold them responsible for taking a Rs.20 bribe from a driver in Chandigarh.

When I see the Cops in the USA confidently strutting around in crisp new uniforms , all geared up with equipment and commanding respect from the civilians, I am outraged at the Indian government for not providing basics to the men they put in power. If they lack respect from the authorities they represent, what respect will they show while dealing with the critical sensitive civilian justice they have been endowed the powers and discretion to bestow. Ofcourse I am outraged.

Sometimes I wish to take out a Morcha to stand up against the lawlessness under the facade of Law as becoming quite a rule. Countless Bollywood movies display the nexus with the underworld, lack of justice in the system, training young officers to become ruthless dictarians and inhuman officials. Its is disastrous. Taking bribes is the first step when the hawaldar gets started, getting into the system of lawlessness.

Young educated strong politically networked leaders in the system offer hope, before they get looped into the system in a bad way. One definitely needs to dirty his hands, to take on the dirt but somewhere when the ethos get greased that they can't even see the black and the white as two separate, is where the trouble starts.